“Mother…”
My nightmares always begin with happy days spent with Mother. Her pure white hair, reaching down to her waist, was as smooth as silk, and when I hugged her tightly from behind, it always smelled of sweet flowers.
“Fufu, Tia, you’re such a spoiled child.”
Mother smiled softly, picked up my small body, and placed me on her lap.
“What are you making?”
“It’s getting a little chilly lately, isn’t it? I thought I’d make a muffler for Rouge.”
“A muffler for Rouge nii-sama!? I want to make one too!”
“Eh? Isn’t it still too difficult for Tia?”
“Muu! Tia can do it too! I’m going to make a muffler for Rouge nii-sama!”
“Yes, yes. Well then, please help me out, okay?”
“Un!”
Mother shrugged her shoulders in a gesture that Rouge nii-sama often made, as if she were at a loss, and taught me how to make a muffler.
The muffler I made at that time, well… it ended up looking like a tattered rag, but I still keep it as a precious memento of my time with Mother. Without giving it to Rouge nii-sama…
“Keho… goho…”
Mother coughed above my head. Her health had been poor since around that time, and as the muffler was being made, her condition worsened. It was as if the muffler was sucking away Mother’s life to grow.
It was around that time that an epidemic began in the Royal Capital. Mother and I were isolated from the inner palace and placed in a small room at the top of the spire. The other consorts and nobles made a fuss because Mother was infected with the epidemic.
The Spire Room was cold. The sound of the wind hitting the windows never stopped, and I couldn’t sleep at night. Mother’s condition worsened day by day, and I, as a young child, tried desperately to nurse her, but I didn’t know what to do… All I could do was hold Mother’s hand…
“Tia…”
Mother’s voice calling me was hoarse. Her consciousness was hazy, and she could barely see. Mother wandered her hand, which had become like a withered branch, and touched my head and cheeks as if to confirm their shape.
“My… cute… Lucretia. Please, be happy…”
“Mother…? No… please don’t go. Don’t leave me alone…!”
Mother smiled happily. Then she stopped moving completely and became cold. All I could do was cry and scream.
“Don’t go anywhere…! Don’t leave me behind…!”
No matter how much I shook her, Mother wouldn’t wake up. Even when I cried, she wouldn’t hug me. Mother’s body gradually became colder.
No, Mother! I don’t want you to die! Don’t leave me alone! Mother!
◇
“Rouge!”
I instinctively grabbed her hand and called her name. The short hand of the clock pointed to just before three o’clock. I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard Rouge’s voice as she slept in my bed.
She was having an even worse nightmare than when I had witnessed it before. Large beads of sweat floated on her forehead, and her bangs were wet and stuck to her skin. Yet, her complexion was pale and bloodless, and Rouge was desperately reaching out with both hands, struggling.
I guess it would be better to wake her up.
“Rouge…!”
“–…Hugh?”
I turned on the room’s lights with a magic tool. When I shook her shoulder and called her name, Rouge opened her eyes with a start. Her navy blue eyes reflected my face.
“Huh… me…”
Rouge’s breathing was ragged, as if she had just finished a strenuous exercise. Rouge threw back the covers and slowly sat up. Her negligee was soaked with sweat and clung to her skin, revealing glimpses of her skin tone. Then, I quietly averted my eyes and stood up.
“I’ll get some water. Wait here for a bit.”
I headed to the kitchen and poured water into a glass from the faucet created by a magic tool. When I returned and handed it to Rouge, she slowly sipped the water. By the time the glass was empty, Rouge’s breathing had stabilized, and her complexion had improved slightly.
“Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah. Thanks, Hugh. Sorry, um… did I wake you up…?”
“No. I just woke up from a bad dream myself.”
In reality, I woke up because of Rouge’s moans, but it wasn’t a lie that I had a bad dream.
It had been a while since I had dreamed of my overworked days in my previous life. When I was a child, I often had nightmares about this dream, and my mother was worried about me. I hadn’t had it once since entering the Royal Academy… Well, never mind about me.
For Rouge, her mother’s death must be an event so deeply etched in her heart that it repeatedly resurfaces as a nightmare. I wonder what happened…
Prince Lucas and Lily, who was close to her as a child, might know something, but I don’t want to do anything tactless like asking around about past events without Rouge’s permission. All I can do is wait for Rouge to tell me herself.
More importantly, though.
“Um… well… do you think you can sleep alone?”
When I asked, Rouge shook her head from side to side. Rouge usually sneaks into my bed in the middle of the night, but I woke up today. Sneaking won’t work.
Rouge pursed her lips and looked up at me with upturned eyes. …Well, I understood what she was trying to say.
“Um… should we sleep together?”
“Is it okay?”
“Y-yeah. Of course. If it’s okay with Rouge.”
“Un!”
We’ve been sleeping in the same bed every day, but I don’t think there’s ever been a time when it was with mutual consent. Thinking about it that way, I feel a little nervous… Of course, I’m not going to do anything lewd, so there’s no need to be on guard.
“Ah, but I might be a little sweaty right now… Can I take a shower?”
“…! Y-yes, that’s right. W-wouldn’t that be good?”
“? Then I’ll go take one.”
Rouge tilted her head at my flustered reply, prepared a change of clothes and a bath towel, and headed to the changing room. After a while, I could faintly hear the sound of the shower running.
W-why am I so nervous…! I-it’s just going to be the same as always, just sleeping together!
…That being said, there’s still a different meaning between Rouge sneaking into my bed on her own and me inviting her to sleep together with her consent…
There’s a proverb in my previous life that says, “It’s a shame for a man not to eat a meal that’s been set before him,” but I wonder if there’s a similar proverb here.
While I was sitting on the bed, worrying about such trivial things, Rouge came back.
“S-sorry to keep you waiting, Hugh.”
Rouge, wearing a pale pink negligee, stood in front of me and clasped her hands together in front of her chest. The flush on her cheeks must be from taking a shower. The sweet scent of osmanthus, similar to the fragrance of osmanthus, wafted from Rouge after her bath, even more so than usual.
I swallowed hard without thinking and got into bed to cover it up.
“W-well then, let’s go to sleep.”
“Y-yes. E-excuse me…”
Rouge came into my bed with strangely formal and awkward movements. I moved my body to the very edge of the bed, close to the wall, and invited Rouge in.
“Hugh, isn’t it cramped?”
“Rouge, aren’t you going to fall off if you’re so close to the edge…?”
There was enough space between me and Rouge for another person to sleep. I hurriedly chased away the fantasy of one day having a child between us, sleeping side by side… It’s too early to think about that.
“T-then… here goes!”
Rouge turned her body around and moved closer to me. As a result, Rouge’s body turned halfway around, and her back was pressed against my chest.
“H-hey. Isn’t that too close this time…!?”
“I-I don’t think so…?”
No, the degree of closeness is clearly different from before…
Rouge, taking the liberty of using my left arm as a pillow, operated the magic tool at the bedside and turned off the lights in the room. In the darkness, the warmth of Rouge’s body and the sound of her pounding heart, which I felt through her nightgown, were surely not just my imagination.
I wonder if I’ll be able to sleep properly…