Chapter 121: The Abandoned One’s Opening Monologue – The One Who Does Not Abandon’s Opening Monologue
I envy those who can despair.
Because until it was severed, they had hope.
I envy those who fear.
Because they know peace.
I yearn for the dead.
Because they were once alive.
Abandoned, everything was abandoned.
For the sake of a single wish, everything was cast aside.
By a pure kindness that gave no thought whatsoever to the one being abandoned.
What should the victim of kindness resent?
The world?
Or kindness itself?
No, that’s wrong.
I should resent those who were saved by that kindness.
Therefore, that is why I am your enemy.
＊
This is bad, extremely bad.
Erika Solntsalri was troubled.
She had been desperately trying to look away, but once alone in her room, even that reached its limit.
Whether she liked it or not, it surfaced in her mind, and she couldn’t ignore it.
She is coming. The Maiden of Light, her best friend, the one Shin Longdagger holds dear.
She is coming to this city, to Hecate.
No, her coming itself isn’t a problem, not at all.
In fact, if it meant she could see her, she would be happy.
However.
“That only applies to me, doesn’t it?”
Unsure what kind of expression she was making, Erika touched her cheek to check.
Erika felt relieved that she wasn’t showing any emotion.
If she had been smiling, she wouldn’t have been able to forgive herself.
At this rate, Shin will meet her.
Shin will meet the Maiden of Light, the one he holds dear.
As Erika Solntsalri’s husband.
This should be the very thing Shin wants to avoid most.
He, who dedicated one year, abandoned a proper future as a nobleman, and still wished only to gain an acquaintance.
He would end up meeting her as his friend’s husband.
Thinking of Shin’s inner feelings, whose demeanor hadn’t changed one bit even after learning the Maiden of Light was coming to Hecate, Erika’s heart ached.
He must have cursed this Iniquity.
If it were Shin—Erika had no doubt—Shin, who could have grasped any number of brilliant futures, the very thing he had wanted enough to let go of all that, would now obtain it in a completely undesired form.
Should she just confess everything to her?
Erika seriously considered it, but the upbringing she received as a member of the Marquis House denied it.
There were far too many problems, no matter how you looked at it.
Still, she had to do something; she wanted to do something for Shin’s sake.
Erika thought this, driven by an unidentifiable impatience creeping up her spine.
Otherwise, wouldn’t the person I love be far too pitiful?
While understanding that there was very little she could do right now, Erika nonetheless made her decision.
For starters, she would likely have to give up the ring.
It can’t be helped; it’s unavoidable.
For her, knowing Shin’s feelings, to meet her while wearing the ring Shin gave her…
It was utterly unforgivable.
Erika reached for her cheek again.
No emotion showed on her cheek.
Alright, it’s fine.
Tomorrow, I’ll wear this same face.
Erika Solntsalri pressed her lips tightly together. She wouldn’t even allow herself a single sigh.