Chapter 140: Insecurity
Well, whatever, my mental state is irrelevant.
It’s a lesson I learned in my past life, but if you worry about something for two or three minutes and don’t find an answer, it’s more beneficial not to think about it! That’s the gist of it.
Seriously, the reason I feel I can’t—or rather, don’t want to—become a parent is because unpleasant memories from my past life resurface; it has nothing to do with this world.
My fear… basically, “What if the child turns out to be a hopeless idiot?”… is something there’s no point thinking about right now.
No, there’s no point thinking about it in the first place.
A child is ultimately just another person, after all. Trying to completely control them is presumptuous, and impossible, right?
Instead of “Let’s make them a doctor! Let’s make them a Mage!”, for now, isn’t it fine to just aim for “Let’s raise them with a decent enough brain that they won’t become hostile towards me!”?
Really, you know, it’s fine as long as they don’t turn out to be a net negative.
Later on, just them not saying stupid things like “Hand over the inheritance!” or “Become a guarantor for my debts!” would make raising them a complete success. If they can just become independent, really…
Even so, how many years later is that? Isn’t thinking about the child’s personality development like, ten years down the line?
Even talking about early childhood education, they haven’t even been born yet.
Anyway, for now, I should focus on Rosalinde.
That’s the most important thing.
“Rosa?”
“She is resting.”
Oops… Is that the Nanny, Linda-obasan?
“How about her meal?”
“She ate just a little fruit.”
“I see… Let her keep sleeping for now. When she wakes up, have her drink some water.”
“Yes, Master.”
“Also, call me if you need anything. Try not to let Rosa herself walk around too much.”
“Of course, sir.”
Hmm…
At this point, the improvement of Rosalinde’s constitution and the treatment of her illness have really paid off.
Rosalinde originally had a weak constitution and a lung disease, and for a time, she couldn’t even walk properly.
But now, she had recovered enough to walk all the way from the castle in central Midford to my apothecary.
Her body, which had been too thin, had recently become rounder with proper meals, and she had gained some muscle too.
With this, she should probably be able to give birth even without magical assistance…
Should I use magic that blocks pain for a painless delivery? Even though Rosalinde has gained stamina, the burden of childbirth is significant. No, painless delivery tends to prolong labor, but Rosalinde might lose her mind from the pain.
Or rather, the reliability of the “Magic Anesthesia” I developed is ridiculously high…
It seems like if I skillfully use some kind of True Word that affects the mind? or something, I can magically block pain…
Unlike real anesthesia, I don’t have to consider drug dosage or the possibility of rejection reactions at all; I can just crudely block the sense of pain in one shot. It’s just too powerful.
Also, by using “magic that eradicates specific bacteria,” “magic that annihilates designated lesions,” and “restorative magic that regenerates the body,” even complex surgical operations become easy in a world like this.
Or rather, from the perspective of us who studied physics and chemistry in the modern era, the very fact that you can easily “annihilate” or “create” things makes magic seem totally broken, doesn’t it…?
Anyway, it seems Rosalinde is resting.
I should let her sleep…
…In the end, there’s not much I can do as a doctor.
Feeling sick, no appetite, that’s all normal. If it were malnutrition or something, I’d give her an IV drip, but it seems she’s managing to eat a little one way or another?
The problem is more likely her mental state…
“…Hey, Dru? Can I… really be a proper mother?”
“Rosa, you’ll be fine. I’m here, and so are Count Missgancia’s subordinates. Everyone will support you, so it’s okay.”
“Will I… die, like my mother did?”
“I won’t let you die. As Count Missgancia’s physician—no, as your husband, I will absolutely protect you.”
“…Will the child… grow up properly? Will they… not have a weak body, like mine?”
“There shouldn’t be any problem. Besides, Rosa, you’ve been eating well and exercising a lot lately, so your body has become as sturdy as a normal person’s, you know? Even if your child is born with a weak body, they’ll surely overcome it, just like you did.”
Yep.
So yeah… I’m doing my best to console Rosalinde, who’s in a state kind of like maternity blues!
I don’t have much work anyway.
Some folks with the epidemic are trickling in, but Tris is handling them.
For Rosalinde’s sake, I’ve been giving her things like the ‘Dragon Quest II’ I wrote recently and jigsaw puzzles made from pictures I casually drew, trying to help her relieve stress, but…
Rosalinde is fundamentally active and mischievous, but her personality is generally gentle.
She doesn’t become aggressive or anything, she just gets down, so it seems being appropriately kind to her is enough to satisfy her.
And so, Rosalinde will spend her days peacefully in a room in my mansion until the child is born…