Episode 22: Since That Time
“……――”
Lying on her bed in her room, Ayano Ichinose was gazing blankly at the brand-new Black Cat Plushie.
She had already finished dinner outside. She had taken a bath. She had brushed her teeth.
It was somewhat earlier than usual for her to go to bed, but she was feeling full in many ways, so she thought she would just go to sleep. However, sleep was slow to come.
“Ah, maybe I’m a lost cause……”
A hot breath escaped her lips.
She could feel her body flushed.
Her head was light.
The symptoms felt similar to a cold.
But it wasn’t unpleasant.
It was an illness, but this was――
““Lovesickness”……! Is this what it’s like……!”
She writhed on the bed.
But she thought it was understandable.
Come to think of it, she had been feeling like this for the past three days.
He had confessed to her. He had accepted her even after she revealed her secret, and they had become lovers.
And they had kissed.
She was nervous, happy, and excited.
The second time was from him, after some complications. It was a gentle kiss, like something out of a drama.
Then, the third time was impulsively from her. She had kissed him, seeking him out in a moment of pure impulse.
If that game sound effect hadn’t played at that moment, she wouldn’t have been able to stop herself.
Thanks to that interruption, she was able to calm down, but she felt a little disappointed.
She remembered his expression, the heat of his body.
She wanted to touch him more, to feel that heat right now.
“……!”
Realizing that she wanted him to feel the same way, she buried her face in the pillow.
“Ah――my body is hot……!”
In addition to that, there was today’s Date.
The content wasn’t anything special.
They just watched a movie at the nearby Shopping Mall, bought some clothes, had a cheap lunch, and looked around the stores.
There was an interruption along the way, but,
“――Don’t lay a hand on my girl.”
Today was a day that filled her heart.
“Ah, I’ll cherish you forever.”
“Then, I’ll say it again properly when I can take responsibility.”
“Of course. As long as she wishes it, I want to be with her even after graduation.”
“――That’s just a…… Marriage Proposal……”
She knew that he meant it seriously.
Would they graduate from high school safely, become adults, and then,
“Get married, or something……”
Would that happen?
“Eh, is that happiness……? It is happiness……!”
Imagining the days she would spend with him as a married couple, she writhed even more.
Seeing him off to work in the morning, welcoming him home with a home-cooked meal……
――Truly loving each other.
“Ah……yeah. I really do love Yuto……”
After rolling around on the bed for a while, she finally calmed down.
When she closed her eyes, she felt like the ticking of the clock on the wall sounded unusually loud.
――In the past, that had been terrifyingly scary.
But at some point, she had stopped being afraid of “being alone in a quiet room.”
It was because she had come to believe that “she wasn’t alone.”
――That was also thanks to him.
◇
Ayano Ichinose loved her family. She was proud of her young parents.
She felt lonely because they both worked, but she didn’t feel isolated thanks to her neighbors.
――Those were happy days.
But when she was in the third grade of elementary school, her parents divorced.
Initially, she was told that her Mother had left because she had “a job in a faraway place.”
For the first few days, she believed her father’s words and waited for her Mother to return. When her father was late from work, she was taken care of at the neighbors’ house.
The auntie would say, “Your father and Mother both care about you, Ayano-chan.”
But, even as a child, she had somehow sensed the “discord between her parents.”
She knew that her Mother wasn’t interested in her.
So, Ayano worked hard. She studied, helped with housework, and did various things that her Mother would be pleased with.
She was happy to be praised. She felt relieved when her family was smiling.
But her Mother suddenly disappeared.
It didn’t take her long to understand that her Mother wasn’t coming back.
At the time, she remembered crying all the time.
She became inexplicably disgusted and afraid of various things.
There was a time when she couldn’t even handle being left home alone at night, or eating and bathing by herself, even though she had been used to it.
Her father cried and apologized.
She ended up being taken care of by the auntie next door in many ways.
She also troubled her childhood friend’s Older sister.
She must have been a troublesome student for the school.
Her friends kept their distance.
But only her childhood friend stayed by her side the whole time.
She had suddenly cried, and she had lashed out for no reason.
The current Ayano, looking back on those days, realizes that she was never an easy person to be around.
Even so, he stayed by her side the whole time.
That’s why she was able to endure, even though she was scared and sad――though it was sometimes impossible.
Rather, she couldn’t bear the thought of him losing patience with her.
But,
“――It’s okay to cry.”
He had said, holding Ayano’s hand as she held back her tears.
“My Mother said that crying is a good thing. She said that if you cry a lot, your heart will feel better.”
She remembered saying that she didn’t want to cause trouble.
“I won’t be troubled. I’ll stay by your side so you won’t be lonely until you feel better from crying. ――Because I want to play with you again.”
She had screamed that no matter how much she cried, she would never feel better.
At this point, most of her friends ran away. From the outside, she was just “a weirdo who suddenly starts crying,” so it couldn’t be helped, she thinks now.
But he hugged her.
“Then, I’ll give you a hug. My Older sister does this for me, and it makes me feel really calm, so I’ll do it for you, Ayano.”
His small body felt warm and large.
“Ayano, you’re not alone. I’ll be with you from now on.”
――That day, she cried especially hard.
She wasn’t sad, lonely, or scared.
She was happy, relieved, and comfortable.
After that, Ayano Ichinose gradually got better.
And she began to feel happier than before――no, even more so than before.
――Because he, Yuuto Kamijou, was there for her.
She remembered just before falling asleep.
“――When I grow up, I’ll marry Yuto!”
Shouldn’t it be, please marry me?
――And, since that time, I’ve been in love with him.