Comfy Mountain Life – Chapter 594

Chapter 594: Not Even a Dog Would Eat It

“It’s too difficult for me, Sensei.”

Haulon, noticing me, seeks help with his gaze. But I have no plan!

“Who’s this ‘Sensei’?” Dinoss interjects from beside me.

“In this case, someone with plenty of romantic experience?” Could it be Dean? No, it’s probably Dinoss, who is married.

“I’m happily married, so there’s no drama here,” he says with a voice that clearly shows his distaste.

“In the case of King Wolf, he was more the one chasing after Shiva, wasn’t he?”
“Don’t insert unnecessary information!” Dinoss protests to the Butler.

“The intervention of the Gods is a heavy burden for the weak. There’s a myth about three goddesses competing for beauty that led to a war between nations,” Chris says, looking troubled.

“That’s the story where a human man offers a Golden Apple to the goddess he deems most beautiful, right?” It’s similar to the Judgment of Paris from Greek mythology, but please stop mentioning the floating Golden Apple while saying that, Ash.

“Do something about it. You have contracts with those three, don’t you?” Haulon edges closer, trying to circle around.

“I could stop them in that sense, but if I use my authority, it would only leave lingering resentment, simmering beneath the surface, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah, that’s probably scarier—an explosion later on,” Dean agrees.

“Couples’ quarrels aren’t worth a dog’s attention. If you leave them alone, things will settle down,” Retze says.

“I see.” So, it means I should fetch Wanwan?

“Wanwan! I’ll give you a Dragon Bone, so let’s eat over here for a bit.”
“Um, right now, Wanwan is busy,” I call out to him.

“…Luring with bones…” Haulon mutters, sounding even more defeated than before.

“That area is soaked, and we’re eating over here, but do you dislike joining us?”
“Um… I do like being near Gene.” Wanwan approaches, glancing at Es.

I pull a towel from [Storage] and start drying Wanwan’s wet legs and belly. Karn trudges out from inside, looking heavy-footed.

“…You’re drying a Spirit, huh?” Haulon murmurs again.

“Hey, could you take care of the door?”
“Should I just put out this fire?” As Es and Asas remain behind, Retze asks Karn to close the door.

Dinoss grabs a large ladle nearby and covers the fire to extinguish it, and the door slowly begins to close.

“By the way…”
“What?” I respond to Retze, who is looking at me.

“Ask Asas whether he prefers women or prefers them to multiply before the door closes.”
“Multiply? Uh, Asas, do you like women? Or do you prefer them to multiply?” I ask, not fully understanding what he means.

“I am the God of Fertility, of course I prefer them to multiply! I spread love, and the increase of those I accept brings me boundless joy!” Asas yells back, squeezed tightly by Es.

So he prefers them to multiply!?

“I won’t multiply, you know!?” Haulon exclaims, eyes wide.

Well, don’t look at me.

“Of course! What I multiply are grains, greens, fruits, trees, and beautiful women! The only exception to what does not multiply is my beloved wife, Es!”

Before the door closed, I felt like I caught a glimpse of Es’s flushed face.

“When you say multiply, does that mean you might also be into Pill Bugs…?”
“No, it’s just plants. He’s the God of ‘Fertility’ after all,” Retze says with half-open eyes.

If you say that, isn’t it just grains? Fertility. Is the language just trying hard with similar words?

Feeling a bit uneasy, I think that while Asas’s infidelity isn’t resolved, something seems to be getting sorted out from Es’s expression. I hand Wanwan the Dragon Bone as promised.

It’s just the way he likes it, with a bit of meat still clinging to it. By the way, Rishu prefers the ones that are cleaned and dried, but maybe he likes the texture of gnawing on them more than actually eating? It’s probably his second favorite after the rope he got from the dwarves.

“Oh! This bone is delicious and I love it!” Wanwan starts gnawing on the bone beside me.

“Everyone probably missed out on the banquet food, so let’s have a feast here.” Even though it’s inside a newly built temple, we can clean up nicely.

I spread out a large carpet.

“Hehe, let’s eat, let’s eat!” Dean laughs as he plops down on the floor.

“Right, we can’t open it for a while. And going outside like this is a bit awkward. Can I ask you for a favor? —King Tildonai, I apologize for the trouble this has caused.” Haulon turns to Karn, changing his tone and bowing his head.

“No, being caught up with the Gods is like a natural disaster. As long as you’re human, there’s nothing you can do about it. Therefore, no need for an apology,” Karn says solemnly.

That couple’s quarrel. Words can be twisted, can’t they?

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