Late April.
Kageichi Futsuu wore an uncharacteristic frown as he stood before a dilapidated apartment in the suburbs.
“Hey.”
“……”
He was in his usual gray suit and leather shoes, his work attire.
As a freelancer, he didn’t need to stick to suits, but perhaps it was a remnant of his corporate days, as he felt more focused on work when wearing one.
Also, since many Cleaners dressed casually, Kageichi’s suit seemed to be well-received by clients, making it useful in a professional sense.
However, that was all predicated on the other party possessing at least a minimum level of communication skills…
“Hey! Hey, hey, hey, you! Isn’t this illegal? I-L-L-E-G-A-L! Making a contract with my child without my permission and cleaning a Dungeon, how is that not weird?!”
Before Kageichi stood—an obasan like a drum can, her cheeks and body as swollen as a steamed bun… Kaneyo Kose’s shrill voice made Kageichi silently adjust his glasses.
Kiraboshi, standing beside him, grimaced and fell silent.
Having secretly defeated the Behemoth in the “Glacier Snowfield,” Kageichi resumed his normal duties the day after tomorrow.
Safety, security, and no stress.
Kageichi’s life didn’t need any major incidents.
Fierce battles with large monsters and murder were just daily spices, like a sprinkle of sesame salt on rice.
Spending his days leisurely in an unchanging routine was the very peace Kageichi desired.
So, today, he accepted a Quest and completed cleaning a D-rank Dungeon, but…
“This is invalid, I-N-V-A-L-I-D! I will never, ever pay you the money!?”
“…Excuse me, but the details of the contract are as described in the email and the Labyrinth Agency’s Quest report. Also, the contract has already been signed by the client.”
“That’s what I’m saying is a scam! How awful, so awful… Taking advantage of my child’s kindness, telling him the Dungeon is dangerous, it should be cleaned quickly, or Mommy will worry, you tricked him, didn’t you? I know everything!”
“However, Madam…”
“I saw it all on SNS! I know the truth of the world!”
Kaneyo-obasan shook her pig-like face, glaring with a demonic expression.
“Ugh…” Kiraboshi, standing next to him, was completely repulsed.
The residents of the apartment didn’t even bother to show their faces, perhaps used to it. Or maybe there were no residents.
If this landlady was the reason, it wouldn’t be surprising…
“Kaneyo-san. It is true that the contract was made without parental consent. In that regard, it is not impossible to consider it my fault, but…”
“See!? It’s written in the law that contracts made without parental consent are no good, right?”
“Depending on the situation. However…”
Kageichi turned his gaze to her son, who was fidgeting next to Kaneyo—
“Your son… according to the documents, he is thirty-seven years old, correct?”
He observed the middle-aged man, equally plump, his belly protruding from his T-shirt.
Calling him a child felt awkward; he was a raccoon-like man with thinning hair and plenty of fat—Kaneyo Kuu-kun, who was suppressing tears with a hiccup and a sob.
“Hic… h, hic, sob… Mommy… this ojisan is bullying me…”
“Oh, it’s okay, Kuu-kun, Mommy is here for you, okay? …Hey, you, don’t you feel anything seeing this child cry?”
“I believe your son is old enough to make his own decisions.”
“Oh, so you discriminate against people based on age!? My child is a bit slow, can’t you tell by looking at him? Shouldn’t you be more considerate then???”
“Then at least, Madam should always review the contracts—”
“Are you saying I should take away my child’s autonomy! Human rights violation! Discrimination, discrimination!”
Kageichi sighed and adjusted his glasses at the shrill voice that echoed once again.
Cases where discussions were impossible were rare, but… such an extreme case was unusually rare.
But still, work was work.
“I will inform you just in case… if the contractor is over eighteen years old, the contract cannot be canceled without permission. I am a Freelance Cleaner, but at the same time, this business is also a national project through the Labyrinth Agency. Therefore, taxes—”
“Then you can just take me to court or whatever, you’re always bullying us like that…!”
The obasan started crying, and her son patted her back, saying, “It’s okay, Mommy.”
Her son looked at him with a slight reproach.
…Further conversation seemed pointless.
“Understood. Then, I will withdraw for today.”
“Not just for now, don’t ever come back, I’ll sue you myself, you scammer! What’s your name—”
“I will contact you again later regarding this matter.”
Kageichi bowed and turned on his heel.
As he left, with the words “I’ll never pay!” spat at his back, Kiraboshi muttered tiredly beside him.
“There are people like that…”
“Such extreme cases are rare. Most clients are sincere.”
For ordinary citizens, the appearance of Dungeons was like a disaster.
If left unattended, their homes would be in danger, and cleaning cost money.
He understood the desire to be angry, but most people reacted by dealing with it like adults.
“…By the way, Sensei. What are you going to do about those people?”
At Kiraboshi’s question, Kageichi smiled and replied.
“The usual.”
“The usual…”
“Yes. The usual.”
It wasn’t a big problem.
It was certainly a rare case, but—Kageichi’s policy was always the same.
*
A few days later.
A package arrived at the Kaneyo mother and son’s home.
Inside was an assortment of cookies, often used as an apology gift. The mother and son were overjoyed.
“S, see? Mommy. It worked, right? If I cry, a, adults will definitely not be able to argue back…”
“Oh, really, Kuu-kun is a genius! Mommy has become a little smarter again. Is this what they call a modern life hack? Can I write about it on SNS next time?”
“Y, yeah. It might go viral again…?”
“Really, those kinds of people don’t realize they’re stupid, do they? You have to live life smartly, or you’ll lose out, right?”
Saving money in places like this is the key to living life well, the mother thought, laughing as she opened the box.
Hmm, ordinary!
About 3,000 yen if it were from a department store basement? Seriously, they don’t have enough sincerity, do they? Oh well.
“Mommy, it looks delicious. I’ll have some.”
“Oh, Kuu-kun, no, you can’t eat sweets before dinner. …But I’ll have some too. Mmm, delicious!”
“It’s delicious, Mommy. …Huh?”
“What’s wrong, Kuu-kun?”
“Did, did you hear a beep from Mommy’s mouth just now?”
“What are you talking about? Don’t be silly, Kuu-kun. There’s no way a sound could come from my mouth, right? Come on, let’s stop with the sweets and have dinner? You have to eat your vegetables properly, okay?”
“Ehh, I hate vegetables…”
“Don’t be selfish, okay? Eating a balanced diet is the secret to health. To live a long life, you have to endure things you don’t like, that’s what it means to be an adult… Huh? Hey, Kuu-kun, did you hear a beep from your stomach—”
*
Boom.
Kageichi, who was observing the small explosion from afar, nodded in satisfaction, thinking that he had once again brought peace to Japan today.
It felt good to do good deeds.
Explosions were best in the morning. Clearing away the mental garbage at the beginning of the day made him feel very refreshed.
…Next to him, Kiraboshi had a subtle expression for some reason.
“Sensei. I’ve been wondering for a while… won’t you get caught?”
“The magic density on the ground is lower compared to Dungeons, and there are no Skills that can harm human life, that’s the common knowledge of the current world.”
“But usually, if someone goes missing, someone will notice, right…”
“The possibility is not zero. But there are people who are easy to erase in this world.”
People with weak connections to society and who only communicate with their families are easy targets.
Furthermore, if they are people who cause trouble for those around them, they won’t be reported missing—many people secretly think it’s good that they disappeared, so the investigation itself becomes sloppy.
“In society, they are called invincible people, but they are only invincible because they are protected by the law. They don’t have the idea that if they say something abusive, they will be blown up. It’s a lack of imagination.”
“I don’t think people usually think that…”
“Even so, they should understand that if they say abusive things to someone they just met, they will be resented, right?”
If you act decently as an adult, your stomach won’t explode.
He thought it was common sense, but it seemed that there were some people in the world who lacked understanding.
“Kiraboshi-san, please don’t become such an adult.”
“I won’t…”
“And please become a fine adult who can dispose of such adults without hesitation.”
“I won’t!?”
Kageichi chuckled at the series of jabs and checked his smartphone. “The next Dungeon is also a high-ranking D-class. It’s a ‘cave’ type, and the Monsters that appear are Zombies. I hope we get a decent client this time.”
“I just hope the next client doesn’t disappear on us…”
“Don’t worry, Kiraboshi-san. Something like that won’t happen so often.”
And so, they cheerfully headed to their next job site—
The two of them wore grim expressions as they stared at the entrance of the Dungeon, located in a quiet residential area—and at the trio loitering nearby.
“And you are…?”
“Hehe, thanks for asking! We’re the Hunter squadron ‘Brothers’! Streamers scheduled to debut soon!”
“Ohoho! I’m simply honored to be co-starring with you all!”
“I, I’m too dumb to get it… but, I’m happy.”
Kageichi subtly adjusted his glasses, watching the trio strike a bizarre pose while holding up a recorder as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Next to him, Kiraboshi-san looked incredulous, wondering, “Again?”
…Another trio of Streamers?