Princess Who Wants to Die – Chapter 1

Wendy had only captured the attention of the people as the princess of the Kingdom of Levaze for a mere week. Among the noble concubines gathered for the Queen Consort, who had struggled to bear children, one was her mother, and Wendy was the ninth infant born into this royal lineage. She possessed her father’s striking blue eyes, while her hair, a modest brown like her mother’s, unfortunately did not inherit the royal blonde. Nevertheless, she was undeniably of royal blood.

Her closest sister was already five years old, and alongside her eldest brother, who was eleven, they had been making appearances for charitable events and diplomatic missions. Wendy was the long-awaited newborn.

For a concubine’s child, a daughter was often preferred. It was said that her mother felt relieved, believing that she would not be unnecessarily embroiled in a succession dispute. Named Wendy, the royal castle was filled with a celebratory atmosphere, and the town below saw a surge in the sales of commemorative spoons.

One week after her birth, astonishingly, the Queen Consort’s pregnancy was confirmed. The King adored the Queen Consort. He had taken four concubines solely to ensure the continuation of the royal line as a king responsible for the nation’s survival. The concubines understood this well. Although three sons had already been born, if the Queen Consort’s child was a boy, he would hold the primary claim to the throne. Everyone was aware of this fact.

The King rejoiced at the news of the Queen Consort’s pregnancy. He was truly overjoyed. Thus, he took special care of the Queen Consort, minimizing his official duties, and whenever he had the chance, he would visit her to gently caress her belly. He expressed his gratitude to the gods for the blessing of a child with his beloved wife and increased the guards around her, never allowing himself to be careless.

As a result, managing the concubines became exceedingly challenging. Therefore, the King declared to them that they would continue to serve as mothers to the princes and princesses while maintaining their current status. In other words, there would be no further intimate relations. He even generously offered that if they wished, they could return to their families.

The concubines were fine with this arrangement. They had not married the King out of love; rather, they had been gathered based on their beauty, lineage, and intelligence. They still maintained connections with their families and contributed to their prosperity through their status as concubines. Their humility in believing that this was sufficient was also a criterion for their selection. Consequently, two of the four concubines returned to their families, marrying other nobles while retaining their allowances from the royal family.

The royal family and the kingdom were secure. Everyone rejoiced in the nation’s prosperity, and this mood spread throughout the land.

And yet, everyone forgot about Wendy.

She had a wet nurse assigned to her. The second daughter of a viscount, she had been arranged before Wendy’s birth and had given birth to a child around the same time. With a laid-back disposition, she would nurse Wendy and then spend her time embroidering or hosting tea parties, just as she did at her own home. Of course, this was her duty as a wet nurse, and no one could expect more from her.

Wendy’s mother had fallen from her noble status. She was one of the two who had returned to her family after stepping down as a concubine to enter into another marriage. Naturally, she could not take Wendy with her, nor did she intend to. She believed that as a child of the King, Wendy would find happiness living in the royal palace. This was the situation when Wendy was just one month old.

The King was busy. He led a nation, assessed its political climate, negotiated with foreign countries, and bore the weight of all these decisions while also trying to spend as much time as possible with the Queen Consort. He did not forget about Wendy entirely, but he hardly paid her any mind, and this was true for the other princes and princesses as well. The care of the children was the responsibility of the concubines, wet nurses, and their attendants; it was not the King’s duty to directly oversee their daily needs.

Eventually, the Queen Consort gave birth to a son. The long-awaited heir had arrived. The atmosphere within the royal palace was jubilant, believing the King’s reign would proceed smoothly.

In any case, from the Queen Consort’s pregnancy to her childbirth, the royal palace was bustling with preparations for the legitimate heir, and everyone was swamped with work.

As a result, Wendy was raised in the room that had once belonged to her mother, the former concubine, where she was fed by her wet nurse, eventually given solid food, and then left to grow up largely unattended. The maids of the castle were the ones who effectively took care of her. They had originally been assigned to her mother, and due to a lack of reassignment or perhaps being forgotten, they had no choice but to continue entering that room.

At one point, the head maid noticed during a staff reassignment review, but when asked what she was doing, the maid replied that she was taking care of the princess, and ultimately, her assignment remained unchanged.

The maids were, of course, aware that a baby, and later a toddler, had been left there. But what of it? Their duties were to clean, serve tea, and attend to the immediate needs of those around them, not to ponder the treatment of Princess Wendy.

However, changing her clothes was part of the maid’s responsibilities. Wendy, left to her own devices, had only the undergarments and baby clothes prepared for her as an infant. Naturally, as she grew, these became ill-fitting, and she found herself in a predicament, ultimately consulting the head maid. The head maid conveyed this to the Head Lady-in-Waiting.

The Head Lady-in-Waiting was competent in practical matters. If there were insufficient clothes, they could simply provide more. After consulting with the Chancellor, arrangements were made for Wendy to be measured annually, just like her older siblings, ensuring that the necessary garments would be delivered.

These would be the nightgowns and day dresses for the royal family members while residing in the palace. For balls, charitable events, and diplomatic missions, custom outfits would be made according to the occasion. Records were meticulously kept of what clothing was made for each of the ten children, the King, the Queen, and the remaining two concubines, detailing when and what garments were created. These were mere records, never to be revisited.

Meals were prepared in similar fashion, made in sufficient quantities and served as needed. During her infancy, Wendy was fed her wet nurse’s milk, and under the wet nurse’s guidance, she was gradually introduced to solid foods. Eventually, when she was able to eat like an adult, the maids would bring her meals and leave them for her. By that time, the wet nurse’s role had ended, and she retired.

Thus, sixteen years passed. Wendy’s name was once again spoken by the King, for her marriage had been decided.

The state of the world was slowly but fluidly changing. While the stability of the Kingdom of Levaze remained unshaken, the trends in neighboring countries varied greatly. Among these, a small nation that had lost its crown prince suddenly welcomed its second son, a general, as its king, launching a bold military diplomacy. This nation, known as the Kingdom of Tiadry, had absorbed neighboring countries within just five years, establishing the Tiadry Federation. Its military might was comparable to, if not far superior to, that of Levaze.

Within this Tiadry Federation, there was a region that had once been the Kingdom of Aurila, now referred to as the Aurila Province. The federation recognized the sovereignty of each nation, allowing this area, which had originally been a monarchy, to retain its royal family.

Though it was just a province, this nation possessed military strength comparable to that of the Tiadry capital and had the backing of a distant relative of the kings, effectively acting as a protector. This nation had expressed a desire to welcome a princess from the Kingdom of Levaze.

“We seek a diplomatic princess capable of fostering deeper ties between our nations.”

From this wording, it was clear they were explicitly seeking Princess Dahlia, renowned for her diplomatic prowess.

Of course, this inquiry was more of a notification. It was a question of whether the Kingdom of Levaze intended to establish a good relationship with their nation.

The King was not one to seek conflict. He would engage if necessary, but he adhered to the principle of not challenging battles he could not win. Naturally, he had no choice but to accept.

The question then became, who would be sent? There were six princesses in the kingdom, four of whom were already married. Of the remaining two, the 21-year-old Dahlia was invaluable due to her diplomatic skills.

“Call for Wendy.”

This was the name that had not been spoken in sixteen years, and everyone blinked in surprise. It was a moment of realization, as if recalling that there had indeed been such a person.

The knights recognized the princes with knightly titles, the princesses who were enthusiastic about charitable work were known to the treasury officials, and those engaged in diplomacy were acknowledged by the foreign affairs officials. Conversely, the other princes and princesses were largely unknown, and no attendant could claim to know them all. Thus, hearing her name again was merely a nostalgic moment, not particularly strange.

“I heard I was summoned,” Wendy said, entering the meeting room, causing the foreign affairs officials to tilt their heads in confusion. Her attire seemed inappropriate for the occasion, and they wondered what her maid was doing. Given their emphasis on dignity and appropriateness, they found it odd.

Next, they all tilted their heads at her awkward bow.
Before the King, the proper etiquette should have been the highest form of courtesy, or at the very least, the graceful way of lifting the hem of a noblewoman’s skirt. Yet, what emerged from Princess Wendy was merely a humble bow, a gesture befitting a commoner.

“Your marriage has been decided. In six months, you will be wed to the second prince of the Teodora Confederation, Aurila. Prepare accordingly.”

Though she tilted her head in confusion, this was a matter that had already been approved by the council, and thus the discussion proceeded as planned. All that remained was for her to acknowledge it, and for it to be recorded as a state decision. The record keeper had already begun to write down her expected response of compliance.

However, what came from Princess Wendy’s lips was a different phrase, laced with amusement.

“You certainly have a way with words.”

Time seemed to freeze. There was no response to the King’s declaration other than acceptance. Anything else was unthinkable. The attendees of the meeting could hardly believe their ears. Even the King, rather than expressing surprise, appeared momentarily lost in comprehension. In that silence, the princess continued to weave her words.

“I can’t even dance, you know?”

Dance? What does dancing have to do with this? Among the stunned faces, the first to recover was the Chancellor, Rowan Steel.

“Ah, Your Highness, even if your dancing is lacking, I have heard that the second prince is a calm individual and would not take offense.”

He attempted to diffuse the situation, hoping that a simple “yes” would suffice. But what he received in return was the piercing blue gaze of the princess, a hue strikingly similar to that of the King.

“No, I mean I can’t dance at all. I’ve never learned how.”

Something was amiss. Meetings typically followed a set flow; while there might be some discussion, the best course of action was usually agreed upon, and unexpected occurrences were rare. It was unprecedented for someone to search for words in such a manner.

“Are you saying you spent your time idly instead of learning to dance?”

The King’s low voice carried a hint of reproach, though he did not fully grasp the situation. A sense of understanding began to permeate the room, but it was quickly dispelled by the princess’s next words.

“Didn’t I just say I’ve never learned to dance?”

Silence. A heavy silence. There was a moment where everyone hesitated, unsure of who should speak next, but it was the princess who broke the stillness. Her expression was devoid of the smile one would expect from royalty.

“By the way, I haven’t learned anything else either. Manners, um… I don’t even know what else there is to study, but in any case, I haven’t learned a single thing. There hasn’t been anyone to teach me. I don’t know how to eat properly, I don’t know how to speak properly, and I certainly don’t know anything about royal customs or behavior. So, I think it’s utterly ridiculous to marry into another country.”

Rowan’s heart skipped a beat, as if it were about to stop. Cold sweat poured down his back. He recalled his initial thoughts upon hearing Wendy’s name. Hadn’t everyone else shared a similar expression of disbelief?

Who was the mother of this princess? Ah, yes, the eldest daughter of the fallen duke, Lady Cecilia. And what of her nurse? Who was she? Who?

“Is… is your personal lady-in-waiting here today?”

He wanted to inquire about the circumstances. He gestured to call the lady-in-waiting waiting outside the door, but upon seeing Wendy’s tilted head, his body froze.

“Personal lady-in-waiting?”

What was happening? His mind went blank as he grappled with what to do, what to say, and how to proceed. This was the first time since becoming Chancellor that he felt so lost. He instinctively glanced at the King, hoping he would somehow resolve the situation. But the King’s face was pale, and Rowan realized it was his duty to manage the chaos.

“Your Highness, Princess Wendy, I must apologize. There are a few matters I would like to confirm, so you may take your leave for now. If possible, I would prefer you to wait in your chambers.”

“Very well. I won’t leave my room. Was I even allowed to come out?”

As she exited, Rowan caught a glimpse of a single maid waiting to attend to Wendy.

“Call the head maid and the head lady-in-waiting here. Treasurer, bring all records related to the princess from the archives as quickly as possible.”

After a flurry of activity, it became clear from various testimonies and records that everything Princess Wendy had said was indeed true.

She had lived for sixteen years without any education, without being presented to society, and without anyone caring for her. Routinely, she received ten undergarments and two nightgowns each year, five day dresses, and one birthstone annually. Meals were brought to her by a maid, and every three days, she would walk endlessly in circles in the back garden, a habit suggested by the daughter of the viscount who had been her nurse when Wendy was three. Shortly after, the nurse had resigned. Since then, Wendy had spent her days without any visitors or interactions.

“Why… why did this happen?”

It was nothing short of misfortune. According to the records, the Queen had discovered her pregnancy just a week after Wendy was born, and everyone had celebrated the anticipated birth of a prince.

“If only someone had told me…!”

Who would have? There was no nurse, no lady-in-waiting, just a single maid to bring her meals and help her change. Thus, there was no one to teach her what was considered “normal.” Normally, a lady-in-waiting would be present, education would be provided, siblings would interact, and parents would nurture their children. Birthdays would be celebrated with lovely gifts, and there would be moments of reprimand, all part of learning about the world.

“Your Majesty…”

The King, who had remained silent, was prompted by the Chancellor and made a decision.

“Provide Wendy with all necessary education. In six months, she must at least become a proper lady.”

It was a royal decree. Just moments ago, Rowan had thought that there was no response other than acceptance. Yet, he felt compelled to voice his concerns, fully aware that he might face reprimand. It was the duty of the Chancellor to speak up, a lesson passed down through generations of the Steel family.

“Your Majesty, I fear that the princess may not even be able to read. Even if we assign a tutor now, six months may not be sufficient…”

“Then what do you propose we do?”

“Princess Dahlia is available.”

In that instant, a flicker of anger crossed the King’s face. It was a reaction that had been anticipated. For five years before Wendy’s birth, there had been no pregnancies. The youngest daughter, Dahlia, had been born during that time, inheriting her mother’s beauty in full measure, growing into an exceptionally charming child. Showered with love from her family, the princess blossomed into a beautiful and intelligent young woman, using her wit and gentle smile to foster relations with foreign nations. The influx of imported goods and the export of local specialties, which brought foreign currency, were largely due to Dahlia’s efforts.

Moreover, she was the King’s beloved daughter. From the moment she was born until she turned five, when the Queen Consort gave birth to her son, she had been the apple of his eye.

This marriage was a political maneuver of the highest order. Though neutral, there was no way to be certain that the nation wouldn’t turn hostile. Naturally, they would expect to hold a hostage in return. A life filled with love was nothing more than a dream for children.

“I will not say it twice. Is that clear?”

The slight hesitation in the King’s voice was a small comfort. With that, Rowan chose not to press further and complied with the King’s command.