Chapter 58: Girls Talk About Love, Boys Play Games
Shiori mercilessly shot a line at Kazuma, who was feigning sobs.
“Stop acting creepy and just explain it already.”
“Yessir!”
“I’m the one who said it, but you bounce back fast, don’t you…”
“Well, I don’t really mind.”
No matter how much Kazuma was berated, he wouldn’t get hurt. However, if his friends or acquaintances were made fun of, he would fly into a rage like a blazing fire. Speaking ill of his mother was especially dangerous. Not Kumiko, who abandoned him, but if Honoka, his adoptive mother, was disparaged, Kazuma would transform into a Demon Lord capable of destroying the world.
“Alright then, pulling myself together, what I’m about to show you last is the real deal.”
“It’s probably something ridiculously difficult, or something only a pervert could do, right?”
“Well, you’re not too far off, I suppose.”
Kazuma quickly averted his gaze from Shiori, who was glaring at him with a reproachful look.
“Haaah… Well, fine. Go ahead and try.”
“Alright then, behold! My final ultimate technique!!!”
Crackling electricity coursed through Kazuma’s body. To be more specific, pale blue lightning was sparking across its surface.
“What is that…”
“It’s that thing from manga and anime where you wreathe yourself in lightning. It allows for perversely superhuman movements!”
Kazuma was talking about reflex speed. Humans move their bodies via electrical signals from the brain. Kazuma was putting into practice the insane theory of accelerating those signals with his Elec Gift to surpass human limits.
“There’s no way that’s possible! You’d normally die!!!”
“But I can do it.”
“That’s because you’re a pervert, right?”
“Vice-President. Firstly, it’s common knowledge that electricity can kill a person, but aren’t you, Vice-President, shooting crackling Elec from your hands? I told Himuro-senpai this too, but you shouldn’t be harmed by your own Gift.”
“Ugh… Now that you put it that way, I can’t argue back…”
“Right? So, please, just once, discard your preconceived notions. People die if struck by lightning, but since you can control Elec, Vice-President, all you can do is experiment by channeling it into your own body!”
“I swear, someday I’ll make you cry for real!”
“If you manage to land even one hit on me, Vice-President, I might just cry from being moved.”
“Just you wait!!!”
At this point, Shiori, feeling desperate, showed her motivation. Determined to make Kazuma eat his words, she devoted herself to training.
And then, finally, it was the last person’s turn: Kaede. Her Gift was Telekinesis. Fire was also versatile, but Telekinesis would likely surpass it.
“Kaede. To be blunt, there’s nothing I need to teach you!”
“Eh?”
“I figured it out from fighting you, but Kaede, you probably have a knack for this. When I punched or kicked, you guarded with Telekinesis, and when I tried to send you flying with a counter, you lightened your body with Telekinesis to reduce the impact.”
“Oh, is that so…”
“For now, I think it’s important to fight a lot and gain experience points. As for advice, try to reduce your tells, like your gaze and preparatory movements.”
“Gaze? Preparatory movements?”
“This applies to Alicia too, but Telekinesis users tend to telegraph their next move with their eyes. For example, Kaede, when you try to crush my head, you inevitably look at my head, right?”
“Yeah.”
“And then, when you focus on crushing it, you can’t help but make a motion like you’re grabbing an apple with your hand.”
“Ah… I see.”
“Get it? I’ll demonstrate, so watch.”
Just like with the other three, Kazuma gave Kaede a demonstration. He deliberately looked away while attacking a target with Telekinesis, and activated his Telekinesis without any preparatory movements, showing her various examples.
“I see. I think I get the gist of it.”
“You’ll get the hang of it quickly once you grasp the knack. After that, like I said before, you just have to accumulate experience points.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Yup, yup. I’ll be continuing my mock battle with the President, so if you absolutely need me, just call.”
“Okay.”
With that, the guidance for the four of them concluded, and Kazuma decided to return to Hayato. Hayato, who had been left to his own devices, was playing cat’s cradle. It was one of the instructions Kazuma had given him. He used to do it originally, but he had slacked off after becoming President, and his skills had dulled a bit.
It wasn’t so much that Kazuma had seen through him, but rather that Kazuma had simply instructed him to use his fingers more delicately. Hayato had been surprised when ordered to do cat’s cradle. He never imagined Kazuma would arrive at the same idea as him.
“Well now, President. Let us too spend a delightful time together, shall we?”
“Could you please not phrase it so creepily…”
“What are you talking about? Aren’t we comrades who’ve sweated so much together?”
“That was just me! You had a cool look on your face and weren’t sweating at all!”
“Was that so? Oh well. Shall we resume then?”
“Just a little bit is fine, I wish you’d be gentle with me like you are with them~…”
“Don’t talk in your sleep.”
“Yes…”
And so, today too, only Hayato received special treatment. Hayato, who received even stricter guidance than the other four, was crying with joy. Those tears were probably not of joy but of anguish, though Kazuma had no way of knowing.
◇◇◇◇
The day ended, and the girls had been told by Kazuma to use the grand bathhouse to properly recover from their fatigue, so the four of them had come to the grand bathhouse.
Perhaps because girls tend to enjoy talking, the grand bathhouse had more female patrons than male ones. Today too, female customers other than the four of them were using the grand bathhouse.
“””Aaaah~~~ This really soaks in~~~”””
“Fuu…”
The hot spring water seeped into the bodies of the four girls, who had been thoroughly worked over by Kazuma in the morning and afternoon. They started to wish they could just melt away.
Shiori, Yukihime, and Karin, who had uttered lines that sounded like something an old man would say, discussed Kazuma while soaking in the bathtub.
“Still, I wonder who Satsuki-kun really is.”
“Who knows? He himself said he’s a user of Satsuki-ryu, a handed-down art of killing, or something like that.”
“That’s obviously a lie, right? If it were just martial arts using weapons or unarmed combat, well, I could somewhat understand, but…”
“””When it comes to Gifts, it’s a different story!”””
“Right…”
“Yes…”
“He’s too much of a mystery…”
No matter how much they thought, no answer came. Well, they would probably never arrive at an answer like ‘a Hero from another world’ even if they spent their whole lives thinking about it. It was a story more outlandish than a fairy tale.
Since thinking about it was getting them nowhere, the three switched to a different topic. A topic favored by women of all times and places—so-called ‘love talk.’
“By the way, if you were to consider Satsuki-kun as a boyfriend, wouldn’t he be an option for you two?”
“…Well, if I have to say whether he’s an option or not, then yes, he is.”
“Same here.”
“Right~. He’s a precious boy who’s stronger than us, after all.”
Since the three of them were stronger than ordinary men, the bar they set was inevitably high. There were probably men stronger than them. However, whether they were their type or not was a separate issue, but being strong was still a big plus.
“Karin, you seemed to have pretty good chemistry with him, but Yukihime, you’re surprising. I totally thought you disliked that type.”
Kazuma had a rather boisterous personality. One might occasionally find him annoying or bothersome.
“Ah~, that’s certainly true, but… how should I put it, don’t you get the feeling you can’t leave Kazuma-kun alone? Like, I have to look after him.”
“That’s the line of a woman who falls for good-for-nothing men…”
Shiori looked at Yukihime with concern in her eyes. Yukihime hurriedly continued, as if to correct herself.
“No, no, that’s not what I mean! In Kazuma-kun’s case, he’s like a troublesome little brother, or a friendly large dog. Of course, when it comes to combat, he’s a very dependable man. It’s just, his head is bad, or rather… no, considering his combat sense, he doesn’t seem unintelligent.”
“Ah, I think I get that. I also picture Kazuma-kun as a friendly large dog. I somehow feel like I want to take care of him. And I understand what Yukihime is saying too. Kazuma-kun is apparently terrible at academics, but watching him all day today, I got the impression that he’s just bad at studying, not that he’s unintelligent.”
“Hoh. Well then, all that’s left is his lifestyle, huh? Though, if you ask whether that’s necessary for romance, you don’t really need to worry too much about lifestyle.”
As Shiori blurted that out, Kaede, who had been observing quietly until now, joined the conversation.
“Kazuma has good life skills.”
“Eh? Kaede-chan. Could it be, you know something?”
“Kazuma cleaned up my messy room for me.”
“Wait a minute?”
Wondering what on earth that meant, Shiori organized her thoughts and then asked Kaede again.
“Um, did Satsuki-kun come to visit your room, Kaede-chan?”
“No. It was my room here at the hotel. Kazuma cleaned up the room I had messed up on the first day.”
“Eh, what kind of situation was that?”
“I was taking out various luggage, and my clothes and underwear ended up scattered all over the room, and Kazuma cleaned it all up neatly for me.”
“Alright, let’s kill Satsuki-kun.”
Touching a friend’s underwear, let alone a woman he wasn’t even dating, was simply outrageous.
“I don’t mind. Besides, Kazuma probably grew up in an institution, so I think he’s used to women’s underwear.”
“Ah…”
Shiori had been thinking of scolding the unconventional Kazuma, but hearing Kaede’s words, she remembered. Kazuma was someone who grew up in an institution. Thinking about it that way, it made sense.
彼は施設でしていたように散らかっている部屋を片付けただけ。女性の下着に慣れているのは、施設にも女性がいたから。
一真はいつものようにしていただけなのだと詩織は推測した。
「そうね。皐月君は多分施設でそういうことを教わったんでしょうね」
「だと思う。凄く綺麗に畳んでた」
「それ聞くと、一真君ってかなりスペック高くないですか？」
「顔もいいし、身体も逞しいし、コミュニケーション能力も高いし、戦闘力もある。しかも、施設で育ったから生活力も高い……。性格も悪くない。あれ？ 言葉にしてみると、一真君、超優良物件じゃない」
一真は一応イケメンの部類に入る。何せ、両親は屑であったが久美子はパパ活で稼げる見た目をしており、賢人はギャンブル依存症ではあるが見た目は悪くなかったのだ。そんな二人の遺伝子を引き継いでいるので一真の容姿は悪くない。
それに加えて穂花の教育で厳しく躾けられたので生活力は高い。非常識な部分はあるが、それは戦闘面においてだけ。それ以外は高スペックなのだ。
「普段の言動や行動で損してるタイプなのね……」
「そうみたいですね」
「だから、モテないのね」
「うん。一真はそういう意味でバカだから」
全く以って正しい。高いスペックを誇っているのに、普段の言動や行動で帳消しにするのが一真だ。悪くはないのだが、彼氏にするとなると踏み止まってしまい、最終的には友人というポジションに落ち着くのである。
◇◇◇◇
同時刻、男性側では一真と宗次が下らない遊びで盛り上がっていた。
「くらえ、必殺のオチ○チンブレイク！」
「ぬおーッ！？」
二人は他の客がいないのをいいことに、広い床を利用して遊んでいる。お互いに数メートル離れた場所に座って、大きく股を広げており、股間を丸出しにしていた。
その股間を狙って石鹸を指で弾くという、小学生が考えるような遊びで大いに盛り上がっていた。
一真が弾き飛ばした石鹸は狙いが逸れて、宗次の太腿に直撃した。ターン制なので次は宗次のターンである。狙いを定めて、宗次は指に力を込めた。
「見よ、これが撃滅の金○クラッシュだ！」
「はうあっ！！！」
宗次が弾き飛ばした石鹸は見事に一真の股間を破壊した。無防備な股間に石鹸を受けた一真は悶え苦しみ、勝利した宗次は大笑いである。
「ワッハッハッハッハ！！！」
「うぐぅ……。僕の息子がぁ……」
息子を殺された親のように仇を睨む一真であるが、息子は死んではいない。まだ生きている。ただし、いつ活躍する場が来るかは誰にも分からないが。