Episode 78: The True Masurao
The BBQ had ended, and Kazuma began cleaning up with the hotel staff.
However, being a guest, the hotel staff told him he didn’t need to help, so he returned to Souji and the others.
“You surprisingly work hard, don’t you…”
“I just can’t help but get moving. Well, it’s like a habit, I guess. More importantly, what should we do now?”
“Let’s see. We have plenty of time until dinner, so how about some leisurely sightseeing?”
“Hawaii is bigger than I thought, you know. I don’t know if we can see everything, but I’d like to tour the famous sights.”
“I want to have a swimsuit contest!”
“Kazuma… Don’t suddenly say such crazy things.”
“We already toured the famous sights on the first day, didn’t we! In that case, a swimsuit contest should be more meaningful!”
“I get your reasoning, but that’s not it…”
Souji and Hayato were at a loss with Kazuma throwing a tantrum.
As they wondered what to do, the girls admonished Kazuma.
“It’s because you want to see girls in swimsuits, Kazuma-kun, isn’t it?”
“You probably think everyone will wear them if it’s under the pretext of a swimsuit contest, right?”
“Kazuma, you pervert.”
“My body isn’t something I’d be ashamed to show others, but I don’t like being judged by complete strangers, y’know. Ah, but if it’s just the two of us, Kazuma-san, then it’s fine, okay?”
“Yayoi-san. Shall we return to the hotel? I’ll escort you.”
Taking Yayoi’s hand with blinding speed, Kazuma, acting like a gentleman, had his mind dyed pink.
Even Yayoi was exasperated by this and could only offer a wry smile.
Naturally, the other girls were not pleased about this and beat Kazuma to a pulp.
“Haphephuho…”
“Do you have no ability to learn, you…?”
Seeing Kazuma beaten black and blue and lying collapsed on the ground, Souji and the others pressed their temples as if their heads ached.
They were exasperated, wondering why he didn’t learn, but they also laughed, thinking that perhaps this was also part of Kazuma’s charm.
“It can’t be helped! Alright then, Osu! Let’s have a men’s swimsuit contest titled ‘Who is the True Masurao!?’ If we do that, then the girls will think, ‘Since the guys did it, we’ll do it too!’ That’s the flow!”
“Just how badly do you want a swimsuit contest? Besides, don’t all men in swimsuits look the same…?”
Kazuma, who had quickly revived, voiced his desire, full of undisguised lust.
Souji and the others were completely exasperated, but surprisingly, the girls were keen on it.
“Fine. If that’s the case, we can do it for you.”
“That’s right. If it’s not just the women suffering, but the men experiencing the same thing, then let’s compromise.”
“We’ll judge for you, Kazuma.”
“Hmm. If that’s the case, I won’t object either.”
“Alright! I got permission!!!”
Everyone’s eyes widened as Kazuma jumped three meters vertically, even though the sandy footing was unstable.
And then, at the same time, they all felt it was somehow ridiculous and started cackling with laughter.
“Well, a little entertainment might be good.”
“Hmm. I’ve trained to some extent, but winning seems difficult, I guess.”
“Are you guys serious about doing this…?”
“Oh! This will be fun!”
Souji and Hayato were already eager, while Taiga was bewildered.
Only Issei was delighted to be able to get excited with everyone and was brimming with motivation.
And of course, Kazuma, having secured the girls’ word, was also full of motivation, hope reflected in his eyes.
“Alright! Let’s do it!”
“Yeah!”
Kazuma thrust his fist into the air, and Issei followed suit.
Souji, Hayato, and Taiga shrugged their shoulders in resignation, but in the end, they thrust their fists up just like Kazuma.
“Yes! And so, I made the contest venue with the hotel staff! All male students have been entered! I had the Crimson Knight block the venue’s entrances and exits so no one could escape!”
“That’s tyrannical!”
“Don’t abuse your authority!”
“That’s inhumane!”
“Just because you’re friends with the Crimson Knight, that’s cheating!”
“Coward! Go through the proper procedures fair and square!”
“Shut up! You losers! If you hate it so much, defeat me first before you complain!”
And so, by provoking the students who were angry at his unreasonable demand, they united and really attacked him.
“Uwaaaaaah! Stop it!”
Kazuma was being roughed up, but in the end, he beat them all and reigned atop a mountain of piled-up bodies.
“With this, I’ve obtained everyone’s consent! Well then, the first! ‘Osu, Who is the True Masurao!?’ Championship will now begin!”
Whether they were beaten by the Hawaiian heat or by Kazuma, the collapsed male students got up and, thinking, “Well, I guess it can’t be helped,” started the swimsuit contest.
“Entry number 1! A top contender for victory and the biggest problem child in history! The one who proposed it and declared he’d go first, Satsuki Kazuma-kun! Please, make your entrance!”
The judges were the female students.
The MC was an enthusiastic hotel employee.
And then, from the right edge of the contest venue, Kazuma appeared, wearing a speedo so black it looked like he’d been to a tanning salon.
“Muki!”
While the girls in the venue screamed and let out high-pitched cheers, Kazuma struck muscle poses while making sound effects himself.
He was the ultimate idiot, ignoring the purpose of the swimsuit contest.
This wasn’t a bodybuilding contest venue, yet Kazuma generously showed off his well-trained body.
“Mmm! Magnificent muscles! However, wasn’t this supposed to be a swimsuit contest?”
“It’s self-promotion!”
“I see! I don’t understand it at all, but since there are enthusiastic calls from some of the female audience members, I suppose it’s a success for now!”
“Power!”
“Yes. Well then, there are others next, so please exit.”
“Yaaah!”
Not forgetting to appeal even as he exited, Kazuma left an incredible impact on the venue.
“Er, well then, pulling ourselves together, entry number 2! Also a top contender for victory and formerly the strongest student! If Kazuma is number one, then I’m number two! Kenzaki Souji-kun! Please enter!”
“Ah, hello, hello. I’ll do my best not to lose to Kazuma!”
“Now, it’s appeal time!”
“I’ll do a gorilla impression! Uho! Uhho, uhho! Uhoho!”
Aoi, who was sitting in the judges’ seats, held her head.
Aoi lamented, wondering why Souji too had to be an idiot, when Kazuma alone was enough.
“That’s right… Satsuki-kun was so outstandingly idiotic that I forgot, but Souji was an idiot too!”
In the first place, he hit it off with Kazuma at their first meeting and even became his best friend.
Birds of a feather flock together. It was exactly as the saying goes.
Kazuma and Souji’s meeting was surely inevitable.
“Yes. Unexpectedly, we’ve had two outrageous ones in a row, but I think it will be more normal from the next one. Entry number 3. The former student council president of Seventh Esper Academy and known as the indomitable man, Kiryuuin Hayato-kun! Please enter!”
“Ahahaha~. The previous two had such a strong impact that I might seem overshadowed, but I’ll do my best.”
“Now, appeal time! Go ahead!”
“Um, well then, I’ll do a cat’s cradle~”
Then, starting with Hayato, the male students’ swimsuit contest shifted to something more conventional.
Magic tricks, one-shot gags, dancing, a cappella singing – each appealed with what they were good at, and the swimsuit contest came to a close.
“Now then, we will announce the winner of the first ‘Osu, Who is the True Masurao!?’ contest!”
All the male students who participated were gathered in the venue.
A familiar BGM resounded, and spotlights swayed up, down, left, and right.
“The winner is Kiryuuin Hayato-kun!”
“Ah, um, thank you very much. I’m happy.”
“What was the deciding factor for victory?”
The MC asked the judges.
“He was the most conventional, and it’s favoritism towards our own.”
“So it seems!”
“Well, I kind of expected that~”
“By the way, there’s also a last place!”
The MC’s eyes widened at the sudden announcement from the judges.
“Eh? I thought it was only the announcement of first place…?”
“By unanimous decision, Satsuki Kazuma-kun is last place! It’s because he alone misunderstood the point of the contest!”
“That’s tyrannical! I just did some self-promotion, didn’t I!”
“Last place gets a punishment game! The tingly electric chair!”
Suddenly, Kazuma’s arms were grabbed, and while he was confused, he was made to sit in a chair that had been prepared at some point.
“Switch, on!”
“Abababababababa~!”
Because his speedo had so little fabric, more current flowed through his body, and Kazuma writhed in pain for a while.
However, hope remained for Kazuma.
Yes, the female students’ swimsuit contest.
Kazuma, who had gotten their word and made a promise, stood up and shouted towards Kaede-san and the others sitting in the judges’ seats.
“Well then, as promised, let’s have you all do a swimsuit contest too!”
“What are you talking about? Didn’t we already do it?”
“…? What are you saying? You haven’t done it!”
“Kazuma-kun. Didn’t we act as judges?”
“Judges? Well, it’s a contest, so of course.”
“Kazuma. We never explicitly said we would do a swimsuit contest.”
“…………!?”
Thinking back, they hadn’t said a single word about them doing a swimsuit contest.
They had said they would “do it,” but they hadn’t specified what.
In other words, it was Kazuma’s rash assumption from not listening properly.
“Th-That’s a scam! There’s no way that should be allowed!”
“It’s not a matter of allowing it or not, Kazuma-san, it’s your fault for not listening properly, you know?”
“Urgh…”
Unable to retort any further, Kazuma, harboring an anger with no outlet, dived into the sea.
“This is too much~! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
Kazuma swam out to sea like a flying fish, splashing vigorously.
Perhaps the seawater stung his eyes terribly, as tears streamed from Kazuma’s eyes.
“Maybe that was a little pitiful…”
“Something like that is good medicine for him.”
While Kazuma had disappeared offshore, just as Ema had said, people from the TV station appeared on the beach and began interviewing the students.
The students gave safe, unremarkable answers.
They spoke about their future aspirations and dreams, and the interviews concluded without a hitch.
Afterward, the TV crew filmed some of Hawaii’s tourist spots and finished their coverage without any trouble.
“Why, while I was gone?!”
“You’re the one who understands that best, aren’t you?”
“Cruel! This is too cruel!”
Kazuma, upon returning from the sea, learned that the TV station interviews had happened while he was gone, and he lamented in sorrow.
He collapsed onto the beach, wishing he could have been interviewed too.
In truth, the TV station was also troubled by Kazuma.
He was a student of interest, but he was so unconventional that they didn’t know how to handle him and hesitated to approach.
He was perfect for television appearances, but they’d be in a bind if he went wild and the footage ended up shelved.
However, when it was time to be sensible, he was perfectly capable of it, so he did have good judgment.
Therefore, although some voices suggested it would probably be fine, in the end, they only captured footage of him frolicking and decided against interviewing him.
Perhaps it was a mistake, but it was likely better than a complete disaster.