Chapter 4: This is What I’m Really Thinking (Heh)
Meanwhile, Kazuma, who had returned to the dorm, sat in his chair thinking about Momoko.
“(I wonder if they’re having a strategy meeting right about now? Or maybe they think I’m some incorrigible pervert? Well, either way is fine, but a constant barrage of dirty jokes might make them suspicious, so tomorrow… I’ll just list off the names of AV Idols!)”
He was thoroughly enjoying himself. Kazuma was turning the fact that his mind could be read to his advantage. For Momoko, this must be a terrifying tactic.
If this continued, Momoko might really collapse from stress. Poor Momoko. If her opponent hadn’t been Kazuma, she probably wouldn’t have accumulated this much stress.
To prepare for tomorrow, Kazuma searched for AV Idol popularity rankings on his phone. He memorized the names starting from first place, steadily preparing his countermeasures against Momoko for the next day.
However, as he researched, he started to get worked up and frustrated. Sadly, since surveillance cameras were installed, Kazuma couldn’t even “relieve himself,” and his resentment towards the National Defense Force grew.
“(Damn you, National Defense Force…!)”
No matter how you looked at it, Kazuma was the one at fault.
◇◇◇◇
The next day, Kazuma headed to the academy with Kosuke. Along the way, the two walked while making their usual idle chit-chat.
Having arrived at the classroom, the two first put their bags at their seats before gathering. As they were killing time with casual conversation, Akatsuki and Taichi arrived at school.
While the four of them were chatting, Momoko arrived.
“Good morning.”
“Morning, Shinonome-san.”
Kazuma returned Momoko’s greeting. While doing so, he put on an exaggerated show of concern.
“Huh? Shinonome-san, you look kind of sleepy. Did you sleep well last night?”
“(Tch… Thanks to a certain someone, I didn’t sleep much at all, you know?)”
For a moment, Momoko’s eyebrows twitched, and she exuded an aura of displeasure, but she spoke to Kazuma with extreme composure.
“Yes… It seems I was nervous, what with it being my first day as a transfer student and all.”
“Is that so? That must’ve been tough.”
“(Yes, absolutely!)”
Momoko was inwardly irritated, finding the carefree Kazuma detestable.
“((Ooh, looks like yesterday’s dirty joke attack was pretty effective. Today it’s the AV Idol popularity ranking, but I wonder if she can withstand it?))”
From their earlier exchange, Kazuma had discerned that Momoko was considerably worn down by yesterday’s dirty joke mental assault.
Today, he was set to list off the names of the AV Idols he had researched late into the night the other day. Would Momoko be able to withstand this attack?
After that, Momoko went to her seat and started reading. Nearby, Kazuma and the others continued their chat. Of course, Momoko had her ability activated and was reading Kazuma’s mind, but naturally, his mental defenses were up, so she couldn’t read his true thoughts.
“(Fukada Kokomi, her boobs are huge, she’s so plump and sexy~)”
“(Who could that be? There’s no student named Fukada Kokomi in our class…)”
Kazuma’s biggest miscalculation: Momoko didn’t know who AV Idols were.
“(Could she be someone connected to the Crimson Knight? I should report this to Aiba-san and Onoda-san later.)”
So incredibly pure. It was doubtful if Aiba Manami would know, but Onoda Masafumi almost certainly would. Fukada Kokomi was currently the reigning number one in the AV Idol popularity rankings. He must have “been indebted to her” at least once.
Then, morning homeroom began. After relaying announcements, Tanaka left the classroom. Since classes were returning to their usual schedule from today, most students looked listless.
“(Tired… itchy… tasty…)”
“(What is he thinking?)”
Momoko read the mind of Kazuma, who was melting beside her like a Shiba Inu overcome by heat, but she couldn’t understand the content at all. The only thing she could say was that it was at least better than dirty jokes.
While she was lost in such thoughts, first period math began. The teacher entered, and as the starting bell rang, the teacher’s very first words plunged the students into hell.
“Ah, well then, since summer vacation is over, we’ll have a pop quiz today.”
“Eeehhh—?!”
This was the moment the students’ thoughts were united as one.
“(A pop quiz? How nostalgic… I wonder if I still remember everything.)”
Ignoring Momoko’s slight anxiety, the pop quiz began.
The test started, and the classroom fell deathly silent. The only sound was that of pens scratching across paper. Other than that, perhaps only the students’ breathing could be heard. Despite their complaints and dissatisfaction, the students were tackling it seriously.
“(Damn it! If I’d known this would happen, I should’ve reviewed instead of looking up AV Idols!)”
“(Pfft!!!)”
Momoko, who had been reading his mind without letting her guard down even during the test, almost burst out at Kazuma’s bombshell remark. She managed to avoid sputtering out loud during the test by a hair’s breadth, but inwardly, she was furious.
“(Don’t tell me that woman from before was an AV Idol? H-how low can this man get!)”
Her grip on her pen tightened unconsciously, so much so that it seemed like it might snap, as Momoko trembled with anger. It was during a test, of course, but more than anything, Momoko felt intense anger at the depravity of the man sitting next to her.
“(Kuh… Kill me!)”
Meanwhile, Kazuma had dropped his mental defenses, exposing his true thoughts to Momoko. Right now, there was no need to separate his thoughts or maintain his mental defenses, so Kazuma was running wild.
“(It’s no use! I can’t remember the formulas! But the names of AV Idols keep popping into my head one after another! What is this! Oh my God!!!)”
“(Kuh…! He’s too loud! And what’s more, his occasional mentions of AV Idol names are so annoying! I can’t concentrate like this!)”
“(Pi! Booooobs!!! Yay! Yay!)”
“(If the law allowed it, I’d kill this man right now.)”
Kazuma sensed that Momoko, whose shoulders were trembling beside him, was reading his mind. Therefore, he was making a huge ruckus in his head to try and agitate her.
Momoko had fallen right into Kazuma’s trap, her mind thoroughly agitated. Dominated by anger, Momoko desperately thought about how she could throw Kazuma into jail.
“Alright, that’s enough~”
With the teacher’s words, the test ended. Finally freed from Kazuma’s incoherent and vulgar inner voice, Momoko was so overcome with emotion she was on the verge of tears.
“(Ah… It’s finally over.)”
“(And yet!!!)”
“(Wha-!? There’s still more!?)”
“(Gotta fill in the blanks until they collect the papers!)”
“(………Maybe I should start carrying stomach medicine and headache pills.)”
Naturally, Kazuma, who was beside her, saw Momoko’s relieved expression and launched a final mental assault on her, as if delivering a finishing blow. Thanks to that, she was exhausted both mentally and physically, and it was decided she’d need to visit the hospital.
“((Heh… I won! Gahahahahahahaha!)))”
Seeing Momoko beside him, pressing her temples and letting out a heavy sigh, Kazuma was convinced of his victory. With this, she probably wouldn’t come near him for a while. Thinking this, Kazuma burst out laughing.
Unfortunately, if this had been a personal matter, Momoko would likely have hesitated to approach Kazuma again. However, she was with the National Defense Force. As a member of an organization, she would continue her mission unless told otherwise by her superiors. In other words, there was no doubt that Momoko would continue to make contact with Kazuma many times in order to monitor him.
The math class ended with just the test, and after a ten-minute break, it would be time for the next class.
During the ten-minute break, groups of close friends gathered and started chatting. Naturally, Kazuma and his friends were among them.
“How was the test?”
Akatsuki was the first to speak, bringing up the topic of the recent test.
“No particular problems, I think. It was stuff from the homework assignments.”
“I did alright too.”
Taichi and Kosuke, despite it being a pop quiz, had no particular issues and were aware they had done reasonably well. Beside them, Kazuma had a pale face.
“I-I-I aced it too, I guess~”
“That’s a lie.”
“A lie, indeed.”
“Liar.”
“Ughh…”
There was no way they’d believe him, and Kazuma’s words were instantly dismissed by the three of them.
◇◇◇◇
Excerpt from the Report on Satsuki Kazuma
Month O, Day X
The surveillance target, Satsuki Kazuma, is a chimpanzee.
Correction, he is less than a chimpanzee.
His inner voice was fundamentally filled with dirty jokes. While somewhat understandable for an adolescent male, Satsuki Kazuma is abnormal.
It is highly questionable whether he truly has any connection to the Crimson Knight.
Speaking from a personal opinion, he is one step away from being a sex offender, and I believe it would be for the good of society to restrain and incarcerate him.
End of report.