Chapter 37: This Place Isn’t Soundproof, Nor Is It a Private Room, You Know.
The call ended, and knowing that Alicia was coming to help, Kazuma let out a huge sigh of relief.
“Phew~~~. This should be fine now.”
“Hey, Kazuma. You said Alicia earlier… that’s not Alicia Miller, is it?”
Shunsuke, who had been listening to Kazuma’s call nearby, asked timidly. Was the person on the other end really the Witch, Alicia Miller herself?
“Yeah. That Alicia.”
“Wha-!? Y-You, I heard you got along well during the sports festival, but was it for real?”
“I got her contact info as compensation for the trouble, and she promised to help if I ever ran into any problems.”
Kazuma lied without batting an eye. In reality, they had just become friends, but some things are better left unknown.
“Whoa, whoa, seriously…?”
Shunsuke clutched his head, having this shocking fact revealed to him. This was already too much for a mere student to handle. He should pull out right now, but he had already gotten involved. There was no turning back.
“K-Kazuma. I’m not going to get killed, am I?”
“Why? Well, even if that happens, don’t worry!”
“I wonder why… When you say it, I actually feel like it’ll be okay.”
Watching Kazuma, who was overflowing with mysterious confidence, Shunsuke somehow started to feel at ease too.
Afterwards, the two of them met up with their friends, Miyazono-san and Gouda.
◇◇◇◇
In front of the Clock Tower from which Kazuma had fled, the Knights of the Round Table and the Holy Maiden’s escorts were glaring at each other. The Holy Maiden’s escorts were clamoring that Kazuma, who had acted rudely, should be made to apologize to the Holy Maiden, while the Knights of the Round Table argued that it was their fault for not making an appointment in the first place.
If they were going to say that, the Knights of the Round Table hadn’t made an appointment with Kazuma either. However, since the Holy Maiden’s escorts didn’t know that, it was a case of “he who speaks first wins.” The discussion proceeded as if justice was on their side.
Amidst this, Holy Maiden Charlotte was flustered. Listening to both sides’ arguments, Charlotte knew that they were the ones in the wrong this time.
Thinking this couldn’t go on, she took a deep breath and was about to raise her voice when the Witch descended from the heavens.
“I have arrived!”
“””Wha-! The Witch!!!”””
“So you’re the fools laying a hand on my Kazuma. England and France, huh. It would’ve been troublesome if Arthur was here, but Tristan and Bedivere are no match for me! As for the Holy Maiden… well, I guess I just need to silence the noisy peanut gallery!”
“Why is the Witch here!? I thought she returned to America!”
“Fufu, too bad for you! Actually, I stayed in Japan just in case something like this happened!”
“So we were fed false information! Damn it!”
The Holy Maiden’s escorts gritted their teeth in frustration. In contrast, the two Knights of the Round Table decided to withdraw and turned on their heels.
“Let’s stop. We didn’t come here to wage war. We had business with Satsuki Kazuma, but… we will withdraw.”
“Oh, leaving already? You could stay and play a little longer, you know.”
“Hahaha, I’m weak when a beautiful lady says such things, but as Bedivere says, we have no intention of fighting.”
“Hmm. How boring. But, well, if you say so, I won’t say anything more.”
“We thank you for your magnanimity.”
Bedivere bowed, grateful for being spared, and left the scene with Tristan.
Those who remained were Alicia and the Holy Maiden’s party. Alicia landed on the ground and glared at the Holy Maiden’s escorts.
“So, do you people still have business with Kazuma?”
“Th-That fiend acted rudely towards the Holy Maiden-sama! Until he atones for that sin—”
“You were the ones who were rude to Kazuma first, weren’t you? You’ve got the order mixed up.”
“Ngh!?”
The man who talked back to Alicia was lifted by Telekinesis. Floating in mid-air, the man thrashed about, desperately trying to escape the Telekinesis, but futilely, he lacked the strength to do so.
“Haa… Char, it seems your dogs aren’t properly trained?”
Alicia spoke to Charlotte, who was clad in white robes, with an exasperated look.
Charlotte, who had been panicking, finally regained her senses when Alicia spoke to her.
“A-Alicia. Could you please let him go?”
“…If this wasn’t a public place, I would’ve minced him, you know.”
“Uu… Thank you very much.”
Charlotte tearfully thanked the “merciful” Alicia. As she said, if it weren’t for a place like this, he really would have been minced. If the Holy Maiden had been minced, it would have been an immediate international incident, but since an escort was replaceable, the government wouldn’t say anything.
“Hey, you guys are in the way, so go somewhere else.”
“Uwaaaaaaaaaah!?”
With a light wave of her hand, Charlotte’s escorts were sent flying somewhere by Alicia’s Telekinesis. Normally, one would worry, but they were, after all, escorts serving the Holy Maiden. They probably wouldn’t die so easily.
“Now the nuisances are gone. Well then, let’s go on a date, Char.”
“Y-Yesh…”
Charlotte was teary-eyed due to Alicia’s intimidating aura that brooked no refusal. She didn’t know what would happen if she resisted, and if she tried to argue, she would undoubtedly be silenced.
“U-Um, where is this?”
“Here? It’s Kazuma’s classroom.”
“Eh? But Satsuki Kazuma-sama fled earlier…”
“Ah, that’s fine. I called him.”
The classroom where Kazuma usually had classes had been turned into a cafe, and now the Witch and the Holy Maiden were there. Thanks to that, the students in the classroom were in an uproar.
The students were panicking, wondering why world-renowned celebrities were in such a place.
“Awa wa, what should we do! Those two, they’re people I’ve seen on TV and the internet!”
“This is bad, this is bad! If we mess up, we’ll be killed…”
“B-But, it looks like they came to see Satsuki-kun…”
The students who heard their conversation thought only one thing.
“Just who in the world is Satsuki Kazuma?”
A little while later, Kazuma appeared, leading Miyazono-san and the others, holding things like chocolate-covered bananas and grilled squid.
“Yahoo, Alicia. I didn’t expect you to resolve this so quickly.”
“Ufufu, well, of course!”
Kazuma sat down next to Alicia, who was probably puffing her chest out with pride like a tengu, and casually placed the items he was holding on the table.
Miyazono-san and the others who came with Kazuma were so surprised by him casually sitting next to the Witch that they couldn’t even speak. Kazuma called out to the frozen Miyazono-san and company.
“Hey, what’s everyone doing? Look, there aren’t many customers right now, so let’s push some tables together and sit.”
Kazuma temporarily moved away from Alicia’s side, pushed nearby tables together, and made a large table for a group.
Indeed, there were few customers. That was because everyone had fled, awestruck by the appearance of Alicia and Charlotte. Now, they were just watching from a distance, not daring to enter the cafe run by Kazuma’s class.
Then, Kazuma nonchalantly began to eat the items he had bought from the stalls and placed on the table. Since this was technically a cafe, he probably should have ordered something instead of bringing in outside food, but since not a single staff member came over, it couldn’t be helped.
The reason the staff didn’t come over in the first place was because the two big names, the Witch and the Holy Maiden, were customers. It was understandable that ordinary people would hesitate and be unable to move. It was only Kazuma, acting so calmly, who was strange.
“Ah, Kazuma. Give me some of that too!”
“Here you go.”
Kazuma, who was eating takoyaki, casually tossed one into Alicia’s mouth without much thought.
“Affu, affu!”
“Ah, sorry. Someone, water, please!”
Alicia, having had a piping hot takoyaki tossed into her mouth, was huffing and puffing, trying to cool her mouth. Realizing his mistake, Kazuma hurriedly asked for water.
Kazuma thanked the staff member who quickly brought water and handed the glass of water to Alicia.
“Phew~~~. I burned my tongue a little…”
“Seriously? Sorry.”
“It’s fine~. There’s a Holy Maiden right in front of me, so I’ll have her heal it.”
“Holy Maiden? Right in front of you… is this person her?”
“That’s right~. I mean, didn’t you meet her earlier, Kazuma?”
“I didn’t get a good look. I just thought they were some weird group of cosplayers.”
“Well, that can’t be helped. This girl is, in a way, more famous than me.”
“She’s the ‘Miracle Holy Maiden,’ right~? If I recall, she’s the world’s best healer, capable of regenerating lost limbs?”
“Exactly. That’s why she has so many patients visiting her every day.”
“Huh~. So, what business does this Holy Maiden-sama have with me?”
Kazuma, who had been talking with Alicia, turned his head sharply towards Charlotte and met her eyes.
“E-Ah, um, well, I was wondering if Satsuki Kazuma-sama would be willing to come to my home country, France…”
“Alicia! This person is a kidnapper!”
“Leave it to me, Kazuma! I’ll crush her with a ‘pop’!”
“Hi-Hieeeeh! Please spare me~!”
Though hailed as the Holy Maiden, she was a frail maiden. She possessed no fighting strength, so if she antagonized Alicia, she would undoubtedly die. The terrified Holy Maiden was trembling violently and cowering.
“Hey, Alicia. Is the Holy Maiden-sama really like this? When I’d seen her online and stuff, she seemed more dignified.”
“Well, this girl is just a perfectly ordinary girl who was dragged out from the countryside. Though, right now, she’s more of a degenerate Holy Maiden who stuffs her face with potato chips in her room while watching B-movies, you know.”
“Ah! Ah! D-Don’t expose me~~~”
The Holy Maiden’s gilded image was peeling away. She was no longer a Holy Maiden. She was merely a degenerate, pitiable girl.
“My image of the Holy Maiden is really crumbling.”
“Everyone just has too many illusions about her.”
“I see, that’s certainly true. Even idols go to the toilet, after all.”
“That’s right. Even actresses who seem pure and upright do some pretty nasty things behind the scenes.”
“By the way, Alicia, what about you?”
“It’s a se-cret.”
Her cloyingly sweet voice, as if every sentence ended with a heart symbol, left everyone dumbfounded. The image of the Witch was also changing quite a bit.
“Come to think of it, I was wondering, are you friends with the Holy Maiden-sama?”
“Well, yeah. When I got injured or something, she’d treat me. We talked about various things then and became good friends.”
“That’s right. Alicia is one of the few friends I have.”
“Is that so? Perhaps, Holy Maiden-sama, you have few friends because you’re restricted in various ways?”
“Yes, that’s right! It’s terrible! Even if I just want to pop over to the convenience store to buy some snacks, they absolutely refuse to let me go! That’s why I can’t even do things like hang out with friends…”
“O-Ohh…”
Charlotte, who had slammed her hand on the table as she stood up, gradually deflated and sank back into her chair. From that point on, Kazuma and Alicia found themselves listening to her complaints and grumbles about the hardships of being the Holy Maiden.