Episode 13: I Had a Quarrel with the Head Nanny.
“First, please allow me to apologize. I am sorry for overstepping,”
Having reached the backyard and confirmed that no one was around, I turned around and immediately lowered my head.
I couldn’t see the other person’s reaction.
A moment of silence.
I had no intention of raising my head until they took action.
“…Please raise your head. A Marchioness shouldn’t easily bow her head to a servant,”
A restrained yet stern voice came from above.
Slowly raising my head to look at the face of the Head Nanny, Maggie, I caught a glimpse of surprise and exasperation.
Well, of course, she’d be surprised. Normally, the wife of the Marquis, the employer, wouldn’t bow her head.
In my family, it was normal and natural for housefolk to apologize to servants if they did something wrong, even if they were the employer. But I learned that wasn’t the norm during my first marriage.
Personally, I believe that even if I’m of higher status, a person’s worth as a human being has nothing to do with their status, and if you think you’ve done something wrong, you should honestly apologize.
Therefore, I conveyed that to her.
“Let’s talk without considering our positions for now. Not as the Marchioness and the Nanny, but as two people raising Ati.”
As I said that, Maggie’s eyes widened, and she looked at me as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She was suspicious, very suspicious.
“…That’s impossible. Even if you’ve only just taken over the role, Madam, my direct employer is you.”
So, she’s going there. Well, that’s how the system works.
Originally, male servants were under the Marquis’s jurisdiction, and female servants were under his wife’s jurisdiction. In other words, I held the power of personnel over the Head Nanny, Maggie.
That was an undeniable fact, and it certainly wasn’t fair.
But I couldn’t talk like that.
“Please forget about that position for this moment. No matter what you say to me now, it won’t threaten your position. Even if I have the right to do so, my Trust Level in this mansion is too low to exercise that right. Even if I tried, you have more trust in this mansion. No one would listen to my opinion.”
Ugh, it’s frustrating, but it’s also true. I haven’t been married for very long, so even if I threw a tantrum and demanded that Maggie be fired, it wouldn’t actually happen. They’d confine me to my room, saying, “She’s tired,” and ignore me.
Maggie looked away and thought for a moment, but as if she had come to a realization, she looked at me again.
And then, she spoke again.
“I don’t like you.”
Oh.
That’s the first thing you say?
Well, I’ve been waiting for this, an opinion without regard for status.
“I figured.”
“Also, I hate your polite behavior in front of others. You’re actually boorish, but you know your place and act like a cat. It makes me want to vomit. It’s the worst.”
“I’m often told that.”
“And who do you think you are? Acting like a mother as soon as you get married. I doubt your sanity. Is your head okay?”
“Indeed.”
“Are you getting carried away just because the Marquis likes you? It makes me sick.”
…The Marquis doesn’t like me; it’s the opposite. He just leaves me alone because he doesn’t want to get involved, but whatever.
“I was getting carried away. I’m sorry.”
I was elated. Indeed. I was thrilled to be able to become the mother of the angel, Ati. I’m sorry.
“You’ve even won over Samuel. What a sly fox. You’re less than human. No, less than that.”
…I haven’t won him over, but I did do a 壁ドン (kabedon) to him. I can tell that the tutor, Samuel, is scared and backing away.
“Ati-sama is normally a quiet child, you know? You’re forcibly dragging her around. You’re too insensitive. You’re nothing but a nuisance.”
I wonder about that. I felt yesterday that Ati isn’t that withdrawn. She’s just shy around strangers. But I won’t say it. If Maggie feels that way, then that might be more accurate.
“Honestly… you’re too selfish. Eating together, sleeping together. It’s the worst. There’s an order to discipline, you know? Ignoring that… your brain is worse than foolish, it’s crude. It should be disposed of as garbage.”
Indeed, there’s a policy in this house for education. It’s true that I ignored it.
“I’m sorry.”
“I know more about Ati-sama than you do! Please don’t meddle!”
Oh. Finally, the real feelings came out.
“Exactly.”
“So, you just be quiet! You’ll probably just love your own child more when you have one and abandon Ati-sama! Don’t give Ati-sama false hope and then betray her!!”
…I knew it.
The Head Nanny, Maggie, isn’t a bad person yet.
She really cares about Ati.
It was later that she became twisted.
In the Otome Game, Ati was burned, and she devotedly cared for her, and as Ati became dependent on her, she gradually became twisted.
Besides, what she’s worried about is a possibility.
There’s only one thing this house expects of me.
To give birth to a son.
She’s really worried about Ati getting hurt because of that.
But she can’t say anything because of her position.
She must have been seething inside until today.
But she didn’t show it at all. Amazing.
She probably just wanted to vent.
She’s breathing heavily.
After confirming that she had calmed down a bit, I opened my mouth.
“I probably won’t have children. I’m not doing anything that would lead to children.”
When I told her the truth, Maggie’s eyes widened in surprise.
Well, of course. Normally, you wouldn’t talk about your married life with others. Especially if it’s not going well. But Maggie should know. She knows I’m sleeping with Ati.
“I’ll be kicked out of this house before long. If I don’t have children, I’m useless.”
“Then all the more reason—”
“What I want to do isn’t to make Ati fond of me. I just want Ati to become a wonderful, independent person.”
I looked straight into her eyes and said clearly.
“Eating together is so that she can remember the joy of eating. Not just the act of putting what’s in front of her into her mouth, but to understand her own preferences and learn how to converse while doing the same thing as others.
Sleeping together is so that I can reassure her when she’s defenseless. I don’t want her to feel lonely and scared when she wakes up in the middle of the night.
Playing together is so that she can be interested in various things. From that, I want her to find her strengths, weaknesses, likes, and dislikes.
I only did it because no one else was doing it.
I don’t care if it’s not me who does it. In fact, I think someone who understands what’s been happening until now can do it better.”
When I conveyed my true feelings, Maggie’s eyes darted around nervously, but she glared back at me strongly.
“We’ll do that.”
“You weren’t doing it!!!”
I immediately denied Maggie’s words.
“All you’ve been doing until now is making Ati into a ‘beautiful doll’! Regardless of Ati’s will, you’re teaching her perfect manners that look good from the outside, not to interrupt unnecessarily, and to not cause problems, all for the sake of making her convenient for the people around her!
Ati is just a person before she’s a Marquis’s daughter! Just! One!! Ati!!!”
At those words, Maggie was at a loss for words.
–Did she realize it?
I suppressed the blood rushing to my head. No good. I can’t get angry here. I almost did. But not yet. There’s still something important I haven’t said.
I took a few deep breaths and calmed myself.
“Of course, there are things she has to learn as a Marquis’s daughter. I can’t teach her that. Because… I’m boorish.”
When I said that, Maggie chuckled lightly. Hey. Say something.
“It’s not just that. I won’t be by Ati’s side for long. But at least, I want Ati to realize that she has her own will.
The current Ati is still in a state of being swayed by those around her.
I want her to take the first step towards becoming independent as a person.
There’s not much time left.
That’s why I want Maggie to cooperate. No, rather, I want Maggie to take the lead and act that way.”
Sincerely, straight. I appealed to Maggie.
“I’ll say things that are difficult for Maggie to suggest. Tell me if there’s anything you want me to do. I’ll do anything for Ati. Just like you.”
When I finished, she looked down at the ground and thought deeply.
Because she was looking down, I couldn’t see her expression.
A time of silence.
…Please, let it get through.
“I understand.”
The Head Nanny, Maggie, regained her original posture and looked back at me straight.
“But in return—”
Maggie glanced sideways. I was drawn to look there, but there was nothing there.
“I won’t pay you any respect.”
The corners of my mouth curled into a grin.
Bring it on. I’m ready for anything.
“Of course. There’s no need for that.”
Everything I do is for Ati’s benefit. If respect gets in the way, I don’t need it.
Suddenly, I thought I saw a figure moving near the mansion.
At that moment, Maggie bowed deeply to me.
“I understand about the previous matter. I believe Ati-sama will be waking up soon, so I must take my leave.”
Ah, right, in front of others, she has to act that way. Otherwise, her position will be compromised.
I would do the same.
Maggie slowly raised her head and gracefully walked past me.
At that moment, she whispered,
“I don’t dislike that attitude.”
So she said.
Surprised, I turned around, but she had already hurried back inside the mansion.
Her words made my face break into a grin.
Yes!
Could this be the premonition of getting a female friend?
Feeling that things were starting to go my way, I returned to the mansion with a spring in my step.