Episode 18: Training Begins
Ati’s fever broke, and she’s completely back to her old self.
She also seemed really happy about Eric’s visit.
He gave her a new hair ornament as a gift, and she was over the moon. Yeah, cute. It suits her. Good taste, whoever bought it.
Well, at the same time, I made sure she had her favorite flowers from the garden, too.
“I wuv it,”
Ati said, her cheeks flushed, looking so adorable I almost ascended to heaven.
But the best part might have been this.
Eric came to Ati’s room, suddenly grabbed her hand, and shouted:
“Ati, I(↑) will(↓) protect you!!!”
…Eric, having completely bought into the Dragon Knights story, blurted it out driven by a sense of duty.
Well, he didn’t mention Sergios’s name, so I guess it’s fine.
Ati was so happy about those words that she kept talking about it over and over when we slept together that night.
Heartwarming. So heartwarming.
I wanted to take a picture of that moment and put it in a frame.
Since I couldn’t do that, I decorated it in the frame of my heart as much as possible and engraved it there.
Truly precious… I almost ascended halfway.
I’m glad Ati is feeling better.
I am glad… but…
Ever since then, Eric has been visiting frequently.
Apparently, he wants to train as a Dragon Knight.
With sparkling eyes, he looks up at me with envy and respect every time he visits.
At first, I refused, saying I was busy.
But when I refused, Eric looked visibly disappointed, and I felt guilty.
Moreover, he would say to himself,
“It’s okay, because knights are busy. It can’t be helped.”
Showing me his drooping back—ugh!!
I decided to train Eric only while Ati was studying.
However.
When training, he had to do it in a guise that concealed his identity, call me Selene instead of Sergios, and not talk about the Dragon Knights. I made him promise to strictly adhere to these rules.
…Well, I don’t think it’s possible, though.
During training, Eric was always accompanied by a young page who served as his attendant.
I explained to him, “Eric is just playing a character with a setting that’s popular with him right now.”
“Alright, Eric-sama! Are you ready?!”
“Yes! Commander!!”
Well, I’m not the commander, but whatever.
In the courtyard, Eric, dressed in easy-to-move clothes, and I, also dressed in easy-to-move clothes, stood facing each other.
Right now, Ati is taking a lesson from her tutor, Samuel.
“Now, Eric-sama! Let’s begin your training!”
“Training! I(↑) want(↓) to learn a special move! A cool one!”
Eric drew the wooden sword from his waist and swung it around.
But I caught the wooden sword and took it away.
“Eric-sama. You are mistaken. The strength of the Knights doesn’t come from physical strength or swordsmanship. It comes from the strength of the heart!!”
When I said that, Eric looked puzzled. Apparently, he wanted to be taught a special move.
There’s no such thing!!
“Strength of the heart?”
“That’s right, the strength of the heart. But that doesn’t mean not crying, enduring, or not complaining.
It means having the courage to stand up to injustice, and even if you suffer and fail, eventually getting back up and moving forward!”
I gave a passionate speech, but Eric tilted his head.
…Oh no. Cute.
Well, it’s hard to understand if I just convey abstract concepts.
I knelt down to meet Eric’s gaze.
Then, I took both of his hands.
“Eric-sama, have you been told a lot, ‘You’re a boy, so don’t cry,’ or ‘You’re a boy, so endure it’?”
When I asked that, Eric nodded vigorously!
“Yes! Because I(↑)’m(↓) a boy!”
I sighed.
Yeah, well, that’s how they usually educate them. Normally.
I looked straight at Eric, who was puffing out his chest, with a serious and sincere gaze.
“Eric-sama. It’s not about being a boy or a girl. It’s okay to cry when you want to cry. Sometimes it’s better to run away when you can’t endure it. That’s true for everyone, regardless of whether they’re a boy or a girl.”
I conveyed my thoughts, not knowing if he would understand.
Telling a boy not to cry is incredibly foolish.
If boys weren’t supposed to cry, they wouldn’t have the ability to cry in the first place. But that’s not the case. Crying is a physiological phenomenon and a natural law. It’s strange to suppress it.
There’s nothing pathetic or unsightly about crying.
Crying is an expression of heightened emotions. An act of releasing stress.
Crying because you’re sad, crying because you’re frustrated, crying because you’re in pain.
People release and balance their emotions, which have risen to the extreme, by ‘crying.’
If you don’t express your emotions, you’ll eventually forget how to express them. In other words, you’ll end up storing emotions and stress in your womb.
And that will eventually affect other things.
Just like how the Marquis couldn’t accept his wife’s death and couldn’t bring himself to face Ati, who was her spitting image.
Crying is unsightly? How so?
To me, it’s more unsightly to mock someone who’s crying.
“If you feel pain, suffering, or dislike, I want you to tell me properly. Can you do that?”
I explained slowly to Eric.
But Eric had a subtle expression on his face.
Probably because he was being told the opposite of what he’s usually told.
He doesn’t seem to be convinced.
“But, then, I can’t train.”
Eric drooped his shoulders.
Ah, is that what it is?
“Even if Eric-sama says that, I won’t stop the training, okay? I’ll continue until Eric-sama says, ‘I want to quit training.'”
When I told him that with a smile, his face suddenly lit up. What a great face you have.
I gently stroked Eric’s head and conveyed my thoughts.
“The reason I want you to tell me when you’re in pain is because if you get hurt, it’s better to heal it. If you feel suffering or dislike, then we need to think together about ways to not feel suffering or dislike.
Besides, if you don’t tell me in words, I won’t know if Eric is feeling pain or suffering, you see?”
If you can’t put your emotions into words, you can’t release them and they’ll eventually explode. An emotional explosion often leads to the worst results. Both sadness and anger.
In order to process emotions well, the first thing is to put them into words—especially when you’re young, that’s what’s important.
Putting them into words also requires a certain degree of objectivity.
You practice that from a young age.
That’s how people learn the art of controlling their feelings. If you understand your own feelings, you can deal with them yourself.
–I don’t want him to become the kind of person who vents his anger on others and hurts them, or who needs others to take care of his bad mood.
Such a man is not worthy of being Ati’s husband.
That’s right, this is husband training.
Training to become a husband worthy of Ati!!!
Well, I won’t tell him that, of course.
“I think it will be difficult at first. Knight training is difficult.
Eric-sama, can you keep up?”
I grinned and provoked Eric.
Eric, spurred on by those words, shouted, “Of course!”
Good. It’s just right to be this clear. I don’t want him to live a life that just skims the surface.
“Alright! Then first! Let’s practice body movement! Ukemi is the most basic of basics in battle!! Eric-sama, let’s go!”
“Yes!!!”
We both put our hearts into it, and we rolled around the garden so much that the people around us were dumbfounded.