Episode 59: Harem Protagonists are the Enemy!!!
After that, Kazuma and the others returned from the beach to the hotel and participated in a banquet that served as a meet-and-greet for the new and old student councils.
The banquet was a buffet-style affair, with a lavish spread of dishes made from the finest ingredients, all prepared by the hotel.
The students who saw it were eagerly waiting, craning their necks and wondering when the banquet would finally begin.
And then, serving as both the emcee and overall coordinator, Kazuma, the student council president of the Seventh Esper Academy—last year’s Academy Battle Tournament champions—appeared on the stage set up in the venue.
“Uhm, thank you all very much for gathering here today. Well, normally, I think I’d have to give a long, important speech around now, but I can’t wait for the food in front of me, so I’ll wrap this up quickly. So, let’s express our gratitude to the Crimson Knight for providing the hotel this time, and a toast!”
The students shouted “Cheers!” in loud voices.
The banquet began, and the students each took their favorite dishes onto their plates.
Once they had all gotten their food, the students gathered with their close friends, enjoying their meals while chatting amiably.
Of course, since the purpose of this was the meet-and-greet for the new and old student councils, after a while, the students began to move around, and the new and old student council presidents from each Esper Academy gathered.
“Kazuma-kun, Kazuma-kun. Everyone’s here. Maybe you should stop eating?”
His plate was piled high with food like a mountain, and Kazuma was wolfing it down like a high school boy after club activities.
“No way!!!”
Even though Hayato told him to stop eating for a moment, Kazuma didn’t stop his hands from moving. He liked his usual meals, but this time was on a whole different level; from the ingredients to the preparation, everything was top-class, and for Kazuma, who loved to eat, it took precedence over greetings. However, since the Seventh Esper Academy was in charge of proceedings this time, Kazuma, as the current student council president, had to give the opening remarks. So, Hayato couldn’t back down this time and became a little stricter.
“It’s not ‘no way.’ Things can’t start unless you give the opening greeting, you know?”
“Is that so?”
When told that, he stopped eating, and Kazuma turned his gaze to those who had gathered. The new and old student council presidents from the First to the Eighth Academies had gathered around Kazuma, forming a large group. Kazuma, at the center of it all, puffed out his chest and introduced himself in a loud voice.
“I’m sure you already know me, but allow me to introduce myself again. I am Satsuki Kazuma, student council president of the Seventh Esper Academy. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
After Kazuma finished his brief self-introduction, the new student council presidents from each academy began their own introductions, and the meet-and-greet concluded.
“Kazuma-kun, did you remember everyone?”
Hayato, who was next to him, asked in a low voice to confirm if Kazuma had remembered everyone’s names.
“……U-uhm, I’m only interested in aliens, time travelers, and espers, so…”
“……Honestly, you…”
Hayato was exasperated that Kazuma hadn’t remembered at all, but he had no intention of blaming him. It wasn’t like there would be any inconvenience if Kazuma didn’t remember. Basically, Kazuma was a figurehead student council president, and most of the duties were left entirely to the vice president, Karin. As long as Karin and the other student council members remembered, there would be no problem. There probably wouldn’t be any particular issue if they just told him each time, but there was no harm in him remembering.
Since this was truly just a casual meet-and-greet, once the self-introductions were over, the student council presidents from each academy returned to their original spots.
The ones who remained were those interested in Kazuma: the two new student council presidents from the First Esper Academy and the Second Esper Academy.
“Uhm, let’s see… You’re ‘Insta-Defeat Two-Panel-chan,’ right?”
“Who are you calling something from an ero-doujin! I’m Isurugi Kanna! I’m the one you defeated first in the Crown Battle, remember!”
“Ah~! Right, right. The one-shot gag character!”
“You’ve been super rude from the start! I’m a year older than you, you know!? Normally, you’d use keigo, wouldn’t you!”
“Well, y’see, you just have that ‘Kanna-chan’ vibe, so I didn’t think using keigo was really necessary.”
“Want me to smack you one!? Seriously!”
“Now, now, don’t be so angry. I only meant a little bit of harm.”
“So there was a little!?”
For his part, Kazuma also remembered Isurugi Kanna, the student council president of the Second Esper Academy. Since she was the first one he had defeated in the Crown Battle, the “insta-defeat two-panel” image was strong, and she had left an impression on him.
“Ah, um, would it be alright if I spoke now?”
“Who are you?” Kazuma asked.
“Who’re you?” Kanna echoed.
“Eh… I just introduced myself a moment ago…”
“Know him?” Kazuma asked Kanna.
“Nope,” Kanna replied.
“No way…”
The shocked new student council president of the First Esper Academy slumped his shoulders dejectedly.
“Hey, hey, Kazuma. Don’t bully our Kisaragi too much,” Souji said.
“Kisaragi? I feel like I’ve heard that name somewhere before… or maybe not…”
Souji tapped him on the shoulder, and Kazuma, hearing the familiar name, tilted his head as if trying to remember something.
“Ah! I remember!”
“R-Really!?”
“If I recall, you’re the one with that special Gift called Starry Sky Memory… Kisaragi… Kisaragi…”
He remembered that much, but he couldn’t recall the crucial first name, and Kazuma froze.
“It’s Issei. Kisaragi Issei. He was even on the news a long time ago for having a super unique Gift, remember?” Souji supplied.
“Ah, aaah! The guy who can summon great figures from the past, right? He was a hot topic for a while.”
“Well, after that, your victory over me when I teamed up with a past hero in the Academy Battle Tournament kinda lowered his profile a bit, though,” Souji said.
“I’m the strongest!” Kazuma declared.
“U-Um! Souji-senpai, would it be alright if I spoke now?” Issei asked.
“Ah, sorry,” Souji replied. “It’s not like I forgot about you, okay? Kazuma’s just this kind of character. We tend to get carried away talking.”
“I-Is that so…”
“So, what business does this Kisaragi Issei have with me?” Kazuma asked.
“I’ve been watching from behind for a while now,” Issei said, “and you’re quite a rude person, aren’t you.”
“Hmph!!!”
“Gah!?”
“Tsubaki!?”
The woman behind Issei, who looked like the personification of a Yamato Nadeshiko, the moment she directed killing intent at Kazuma, was stabbed in the throat with a fork at a speed too fast for the eye to follow, and turned to dust.
The sudden violent act caused an uproar among those nearby, but since she was a hero Issei had summoned with Starry Sky Memory and was already deceased, Kazuma bore no guilt. However, that aside, suddenly stabbing someone with a fork was going too far.
“Wh-What do you think you’re doing, all of a sudden!” Issei exclaimed.
“Well, she directed killing intent at me,” Kazuma replied.
“W-Well, I admit that was wrong of her, but to stab her so suddenly…”
“Sorry. I’m a practitioner of Satsuki-ryu, so my mind is always on the battlefield. When someone directs killing intent at me, I just can’t help but want to kill them.”
“Th-That’s too bloodthirsty…”
“Besides, I realized the person I just stabbed was already dead, so I didn’t hesitate. I wouldn’t do that to a living person, of course. Unless they were seriously trying to kill me, that is.”
“……You did that knowing Tsubaki was a hero I summoned with Starry Sky Memory?”
“That’s right?”
“You attacked her knowing she was a hero from the past…”
“Regardless of whether they’re a hero or not, anyone who directs killing intent at me is automatically classified as an enemy. Of course, I don’t usually kill them instantly, but if they’re already dead, they don’t have human rights, do they? If you’re going to blame me, then I’ll beat you up without mercy.”
“B-Beat me up…? No, but Tsubaki was in the wrong, wasn’t she? Yeah, you’re right. We were at fault this time. My bad.”
“No, you’re not the one in the wrong,” Kazuma said. “Even if you summoned her, the one at fault is that woman who directed her killing intent. So, summon her again. I’ll accept an apology from her.”
What he was saying seemed outrageous, but it had a certain logic to it. Issei had probably warned Tsubaki beforehand about what kind of person Kazuma was.
“But, since I summoned her with Starry Sky Memory, I bear some responsibility too, right?” Issei asked.
“Maybe you do, but I don’t think so,” Kazuma replied. “She was summoned by your Starry Sky Memory and probably follows your orders, but it’s not like she’s completely subservient, is it?”
“Ah, yeah. I can, to an extent, make her listen to reason, but it’s not like she’s completely obedient. She has her own will, and if she doesn’t want to do something, she’ll say so.”
“Are there times when she doesn’t follow orders?”
“Um, not so far.”
“So, there are things you haven’t tried yet…”
“There’s no precedent, so I have no choice but to test things out myself. That’s why I can’t give her any dangerous orders…”
“I see. That must be tough.”
As for Kazuma, his interest in Issei’s Gift, Starry Sky Memory, was endless, but more than that, he wanted Issei to re-summon the woman from before and have her apologize quickly.
“Well then, can you summon her again?”
“Alright, but… don’t attack her suddenly, okay? I’ll make sure she listens properly this time.”
“Okay! By the way, what if she turns out to be a mad dog that doesn’t listen?”
“Tsubaki isn’t like that, so please trust her.”
“I never trust anyone who’s bitten me once. So, I can’t make any guarantees.”
“……Alright. Wait a moment.”
Fearing that summoning her right in front of Kazuma might lead to a repeat of the earlier tragedy, Issei re-summoned Tsubaki at a distance.
Tsubaki, summoned once more, learned from Issei’s memories what had happened to her and the conversation that followed.
“I am truly sorry, Master.”
“No, don’t apologize to me, apologize to that guy over—”
“I am, of course, aware of that. However, before that, I wanted to apologize to Master. My selfish decision caused you trouble, Master. I am truly sorry.”
“Ah, yeah. I understand that you said it out of concern for me, Tsubaki, so you don’t have to apologize so much. More importantly, look, he’s over there glaring at us with a terrifying expression, so let’s go apologize to him quickly.”
“Y-Yes…”
Issei and Tsubaki headed towards Kazuma, who stood with his arms crossed and an angry expression on his face.
As everyone kept their distance from the tense, touch-and-go atmosphere, watching to see what would happen, Tsubaki and Issei bowed their heads to Kazuma.
“My thoughtless actions earlier caused you displeasure. I sincerely apologize.”
“There won’t be a next time. If the same thing happens again, I’ll delete you every time I see you.”
“I-I’ll take that to heart…”
No matter how skilled Tsubaki was, once hailed as a hero for single-handedly defeating Ibinom, she wouldn’t want to antagonize Kazuma, who could exploit the slightest opening and accurately pierce vital spots.
“Alright. Apology accepted. You can go home!”
“No, there’s something I’d like to ask, if I may.”
“You’ve got some serious guts… Well, whatever. What do you want to ask? By the way, I don’t have a girlfriend! Currently accepting applications!”
As Kazuma gave Tsubaki a thumbs-up, piercing glares from multiple women focused on his back.
Naturally, Kazuma, noticing he was being glared at, offered a vague smile as if to smooth things over and corrected his previous statement.
“My mistake. I’m not accepting applications right now.”
“Rest assured. I don’t see you as a member of the opposite sex at all.”
“Ah, yes.”
“Now, about what I wanted to ask: does the Satsuki-ryu truly exist? At least, in the era I lived in, I never saw or heard of it.”
“Aren’t I living proof?”
“I understand that. However, if it’s a style of such proficient users, it’s strange that I never heard a single rumor about Satsuki-ryu during the turbulent days of my era, when we fought for survival against the Ibinom and battled over humanity’s safe zones.”
“Satsuki-ryu is passed down to a single child per generation, you see. They were probably fighting quietly somewhere during that era, don’t you think?”
“Then, are there no documents or similar records left behind? If it’s a martial art, I would think there’d be instruction manuals or something.”
“None. Satsuki-ryu is a killing art. No matter how you try to justify it, it’s a technique for killing people. Our ancestors didn’t leave it in writings to prevent misuse; they passed it down orally, drilling each technique directly into the body.”
“Hmm. Indeed, if that’s the case, I can understand why Satsuki-ryu was unknown. However, if so, why has it emerged onto the public stage now, after all this time?”
“Because I’m the successor!”
It was an assertive statement lacking in persuasiveness, but for those who knew Kazuma’s personality, it was a remark they could only agree with.
“I know a little about you from Master’s memories, but am I correct in understanding that you’re a show-off?”
“Indeed!!!”
“…I understand. If you say so, then let’s leave it at that.”
Although her questions were endless, Tsubaki judged that Kazuma had no intention of answering seriously and decided to back down for the time being.
With Tsubaki and Kazuma’s discussion over, Issei, who had been watching from behind, stepped forward.
“Looks like you’re done?”
“Yeah. I accepted the apology, and I don’t have anything else in particular.”
“I see. Er, well, things got a bit complicated, but let’s start over. Nice to meet you, Satsuki.”
He had originally intended to just exchange normal greetings and deepen their friendship, but things had become rather troublesome. Finally, as a first step, he extended his hand for a handshake.
“…”
Kazuma looked at the hand Issei offered and was about to accept the handshake when a pair of girls appeared from behind Issei.
“Honestly! How long are you going to take, Issei! Just leave that guy alone and let’s go already.”
“That’s right, Nii-san! It’s for your own good not to get involved with a psychopath who stabs people out of nowhere!”
“H-Hey, you two. What are you saying, suddenly appearing like that?”
“It’s your fault for not coming back, no matter how long we waited!”
“We waited because it was a greeting between student council presidents, but it’s taking too long. Besides, I never thought you’d get involved with someone like him.”
“No, Satsuki is the student council president of the Seventh Esper Academy, so he’s someone we’ll be interacting with from now on, okay? Don’t say such rude things.”
“Rude or not, why is a Support Course student the student council president?”
“Satsuki transferred from the Support Course to the Combat Course as a special exception. Then he properly won the student council president selection battle and was formally inaugurated as student council president. So, there’s nothing strange about it.”
“I understand about that. However, I saw everything that happened earlier, and I think it’s best to keep your association with him to a bare minimum. Stabbing Tsubaki-san out of nowhere and killing her… I really don’t think he has normal sensibilities.”
“That was because Tsubaki made the first move. Tsubaki was the one at fault. So, blaming Satsuki is misdirected.”
“Muu. I can’t believe that the well-behaved Tsubaki-san would make the first move.”
Tsubaki, who was waiting beside Issei, supplemented his explanation about the earlier scene.
“No, as Master says, it was because I directed killing intent at him first, so I am the one at fault. He merely acted in self-defense.”
“Even so, isn’t stabbing someone with a fork out of nowhere too cruel!?”
“From a modern person’s perspective, it might seem excessive, but public safety was abysmal in the era I lived in, so I understand his feelings. If someone directs killing intent at you, retaliating immediately isn’t strange at all.”
“This is the modern era, and the laws function properly here…”
Kazuma, listening to them say whatever they pleased right in front of him, felt a vein throb on his forehead and grabbed Issei’s hand.
“Nice to meet you, Kisaragi Issei…!”
Kazuma put so much force into his grip it seemed he would crush Issei’s hand.
Issei, wincing from the extraordinary grip strength, thought Kazuma was angry about the two girls and hurriedly bowed his head.
“S-Sorry. I’ll talk to them later and make them understand.”
“That’s not it, you bastard…!”
Kazuma was used to being badmouthed, so he didn’t particularly care about what the two girls said.
Kazuma was simply jealous of Issei, who was surrounded by three beautiful girls and acting like a harem protagonist.
“I hate you…!!!”
“W-Why!?”