Chapter 29: The Case is Solved.
After much deliberation, a single idea surfaced in my mind.
“Ilias-sama, could it be that you… don’t really like yourself very much?”
Wanting people to look at you, wanting them to affirm you—that’s basically a manifestation of the desire for approval.
And that means you’re relying on others for validation because you can’t validate yourself.
In his case, it’s just that his method is the worst.
“Could it be that you want to be recognized by others because you lack confidence in yourself?”
For something I wrung out in desperation, isn’t it hitting the mark?
I mean.
If no one acknowledges you, of course you’ll lose confidence in yourself.
People are surrounded by many others from a young age, watching and being watched for their opinions, thoughts, and actions, gaining approval or being denied, and constructing their identity.
But, what if no one says anything about those actions?
You can’t judge what’s good or bad. Because you can’t get the words or actions to do so from those around you.
To have confidence, you must be affirmed by someone.
If your self-affirmation is strong, you can affirm yourself, but self-affirmation is cultivated by being affirmed by those close to you in your early years.
Ilias, who grew up having his existence denied, has low self-affirmation. Even if he wasn’t denied, he was constantly compared to his younger brother and belittled.
That’s why he doesn’t have the confidence to be chosen when compared.
Because he lacks confidence, he eliminates anyone around the person he desires, anyone who might divert their gaze from him.
He has lived like that. And he was supposed to continue living that way.
In the Otome Game, he was a candidate for Prime Minister, wasn’t he? His younger brother—I think he committed some crime and was exiled.
…Ah, this guy was behind it. He’s really turning into a Yandere.
However…
“Ilias-sama has such an exceptionally good mind. It’s a waste.”
I muttered that unintentionally.
I mean, he’s only eleven years old and he can plot and act in a way that prevents him from being suspected, right?
That’s something other people can’t imitate.
What was I doing when I was eleven years old… Hmm. I wanted to be a knight and was swinging a sword around. I was such an idiot.
I didn’t understand the workings of the world at all.
Meanwhile, this Obsessive Boy is even taking advantage of the fact that he’s a child to make others lower their guard.
A terrifying child.
“A mind…? I’m, good at thinking?”
Ilias, who had been stunned, muttered that.
“Yes, you are. Weren’t you aware?”
When I replied, he looked around and pondered.
Eh, really? He didn’t realize how smart he was?!
Ah, I see. No one had ever told him that.
He’s been ignored that much? That’s rough.
“Look at Eric-sama. Were you like that when you were four years old?!”
I’m sorry for bringing him up, but Eric is, well, a little disappointing, but he’s honest, cute, and a typical toddler. …His intelligence is so-so, but he can still make up for it. Probably. Hopefully. It would be a problem if he didn’t.
Ilias looked at Eric, who looked proud when I said his name, not understanding the meaning.
And… he seemed to understand something.
Suddenly, Ilias began to show a happy expression on his face.
Ah, he seems to understand. That his mind is better compared to those around him.
“If you continue to make an honest effort, you will eventually become Eric-sama’s friend and right-hand man.
But that’s not something that is threatened by Ati’s existence.
Ati and Ilias-sama are different beings. What Eric-sama seeks from Ati and what he seeks from Ilias-sama are different.”
That’s right.
They’re different.
It’s not like only one person can stand by someone’s side.
Besides, Eric is a bit disappointing, but he won’t become a narrow-minded person. He’s simple-minded, but he has a strong sense of justice. He will grow into someone who cherishes his friends.
If Ilias doesn’t leave Eric’s side, Eric will stay by his side.
“If you cherish the people Eric-sama cherishes, Eric-sama will trust you even more.
So, it’s okay.”
I concluded.
I think I said something pretty good!
I patted myself on the back in my heart. Satisfied, I looked at Ilias, who was looking up at me with sparkling eyes.
Huh.
Why are you looking at me with those eyes instead of Eric?
“Selene-sama.”
Eh.
Why are you calling my name in such a passionate voice?
“I want to become someone who is more recognized by you.”
Eh, no.
Not really.
Is there a need to be recognized by me?
“If you value Eric and Ati-sama, I will too.”
Huh?
No, shouldn’t it be, “If Eric values them”?
“So, will you acknowledge me?”
“No, there’s nothing to acknowledge. I already acknowledge Ilias-sama more than enough?”
Otherwise, I wouldn’t have come to protect Ati this far.
He’s nothing but a threat.
This time, I was able to anticipate all sorts of situations.
There’s no way I could protect Ati from the many things that might happen.
That’s why I suggested the Surprise Party.
I deliberately aimed for him to cause something at this event. I showed a gap and lured him in.
I was constantly emphasizing that “I can’t go” for that reason. Otherwise, Ilias would have been wary of my actions. It was to make him lower his guard.
Because I was able to lure him into lowering his guard, I was able to infiltrate and act as Sergios.
That was my last resort.
“Is that so? I’m happy.”
So said the boy Ilias, blushing.
I know his nature, so even that blush is scary. If you look at it normally, it looks like an innocent boy is embarrassed, but it’s him. I can’t possibly think it’s such a straightforward reaction.
“Ilias is blushing!”
Eric was jumping around, delighted.
I patted Eric’s head to calm him down.
It’s not over yet.
“Ilias-sama. Can you promise me that you won’t harm Ati anymore?”
That’s right. This is the goal.
To eliminate Ati’s enemies at the root.
If I can’t do that, all the hard work up to today will be for nothing.
“If you can’t promise, I will have to constantly monitor you.
As I said earlier, I can eliminate you at any time.”
But, you know. It will become impossible in the future.
He will be someone high up in the country in the future. Rather, depending on his words, he will be able to easily ostracize me. Moreover, even if he’s a little unhealthy, he’s a man. If I have a contest of strength with an adult man, I will lose. Definitely.
Well, I will resist with all my might, though.
“…Monitor me?”
Ilias grinned at those words.
Eh, why—ah, I see! Is that what it is?!
“What should I do? If I keep trying to kill Ati-sama, you will keep monitoring me, right?”
Why are you going in that direction, you Yandere!
“No. It’s a hassle, so I’ll get rid of you quickly. With the method I mentioned earlier.”
I warned you earlier that I would break your neck, chop you into pieces, and feed you to the livestock, right?! Right?! Did you forget?!
“I see. That’s scary.
I understand. I won’t lay a hand on Ati-sama anymore.”
The boy Ilias feigned a slightly disappointed air, but did not let the light lurking in his eyes die out.
“At least, for a while.
I promise.
Well, I might change my mind. But that’s in the future, so I don’t know now, right?”
He gave me a refreshing and cheerful smile like a young boy.
Wow, this guy is really nasty.
However, since he’s saying this much, I’ll trust him for now.
“Then, please return first. Eric-sama too. Ah, Ilias-sama, please really change your clothes. You have water all over your head.”
I moved away from the two and bowed my head.
“Captain, are you leaving?”
Eric’s sad face. Don’t make a face like a dog when it’s been denied a walk! Did you know that I’m weak to that kind of face and you’re causing trouble?!
“Have you forgotten? I have a duty to protect Ati-sama. I’ve strayed too far from Ati-sama. I’m going back.
Eric-sama, is it okay for you to not fulfill your duty to protect Ati-sama? Even though you’re a member of the Dragon Knights?”
When I said that, Eric looked surprised.
You forgot, didn’t you? That setting.
“As I said earlier, the sword is—”
“The sword is swung to protect someone! To protect Ati!”
Eric swung the toy sword in his hand around.
I nodded with a smile.
“I’ll be watching from the shadows.”
I said that to Eric, and especially to Ilias.
And then I left the room.
Somehow, today’s threat has passed.
I think it will be alright if the boy Ilias has really reformed, but I’m not very confident about that.
As I said, I returned to the Great Hall and blended in with the other servants, erasing my presence.