Episode 3: Rocked in an Armchair
Ignoring the housefolk’s protests, who claimed I knew nothing of normalcy, I slept with Ati last night.
Apparently, Ati had never slept with anyone before, and she stiffened on the bed, unsure of what to do.
Usually, her nanny, Maggie, would read to her, so while lying next to Ati, I recounted all the fairy tales I remembered from telling them to my younger sisters countless times.
At first, Ati was frozen like a log next to me, but gradually she relaxed and began to doze off, eventually falling into a deep sleep.
As Ati nestled her face into my chest and unconsciously hugged me, my brain overflowed with happy chemicals, whether endorphins or serotonin, I couldn’t tell.
So cute! An angel! An angel is in my arms!! She’s breathing softly!!!
Why is she so cute? It’s a crime! Utterly criminal!! We just met, you know?! She’s so cute I might go bald!!!
I also sniffed her scalp to my heart’s content.
It smelled like soft sunshine.
Not sweaty at all! Is she different from my energy-monster sisters who run wild in the fields?! Is this the scent of a sheltered young lady?! What a wonderful smell!!
For the next few days, I indulged in that happiness every day.
Before she became the villainess, Ati was truly adorable.
Shy, preferring picture books to running around outside, just a withdrawn three-year-old.
I think I understand a little about how this child (ah) became a villainess.
The Marquis (he) hardly ever came to see his daughter.
I understand he’s busy with work.
In this world, physical distances can be vast.
There are telephones, but they’re switchboard-operated, and not every place has them, so there’s a time lag, and many things can only be done in person, on the spot.
But even when he returns home, he doesn’t pat her head or hug her.
He eats separately and doesn’t speak to her.
Even though she barely has any contact with her father, if she’s coldly rejected by the woman who became her stepmother, it’s no wonder she’d become lonely and develop a twisted personality. That’s complete neglect.
She’s only three years old.
She still needs her parents’ love.
Why doesn’t that Marquis (he) come to see her?!
Ever since I showed him my bare skin, the Marquis (he) hasn’t even looked me in the eye properly.
Since he never comes to see Ati, who I’m with all the time, I hardly ever see my husband, even though we’re married.
Well, I don’t mind. I showed him my scars knowing that would happen. In fact, I kind of aimed for it. I thought that way, I’d have less time with my husband and more time with Ati. It worked out as I expected—
But this isn’t enough.
Love from me alone isn’t enough.
There’s a limit to the love I can give alone.
She needs to receive love from her father too.
Because Ati is the Marquis’s (he) daughter.
That day, I was looking for new picture books with Ati in the library.
There weren’t many picture books in the library, but there were several well-worn children’s books.
Probably, they’ve been in this house for a long time. The Marquis (he) might have read them too.
Ati seemed to have a natural intelligence, and although I didn’t think she was old enough to read yet, she could read simple words.
This child is amazing! A genius!! Will she become a doctor or a researcher?!
—Or so I thought.
In this world, women can’t become doctors or researchers. In her case, she’s supposed to become the fiancé of a Duke, so she needs to learn a certain amount of knowledge about history and economics, but… she’s not expected to do anything with it. There’s no place for her to use that knowledge. She’s just forced to learn it so she won’t be an embarrassment as someone’s wife.
The only quality required of noble daughters is:
To bear sons.
That’s why the villainess in the game was smart but empty inside.
That won’t do.
If you have nothing inside, you lose confidence in yourself. Yet you crave approval and become dependent on others.
Don’t find value in others!
You should find value in yourself!!
This child has tremendous charm just by being herself!
It’s not just her cute appearance!
Of course, she’s originally so honest and adorable!
She still has unlimited potential!!
Her appearance is perfect too, of course!!!
“M… Mama,”
Ati toddled over from the back of the room, carrying a thick, dusty book.
“What is this cute creature?!”
I couldn’t help but run over, pick up Ati and the book, and rub my cheek against hers. I sniffed her scalp too. It smells so good. I’m in bliss. I want to stay like this forever.
“M… Mama, tight…”
“Ah! Sorry, Ati! You’re so cute, I couldn’t help it!”
I gently lowered Ati, who was panting in my arms, to the floor.
“Wead dis book,”
Looking up at me with her teary violet eyes, Ati placed the book on the floor, as if it was too heavy for her.
“Yes, with pleasure!”
I’ll read every corner of the page for you!!
I held Ati in one arm, carried the book in the other, and sat down in the armchair (rocking chair) in the library.
I sat Ati on my lap and opened the book in front of her.
And, swaying gently, I began to read the book slowly and carefully.
I noticed Ati’s head tilting.
She must have fallen asleep while I was reading.
I put the book on the table, lifted Ati’s body up, turned her around, and sat her down again facing me before hugging her.
I could hear Ati’s slow breathing and rapid heartbeat through her body.
I love this fast, light heartbeat unique to children. It feels like they’re living with all their might in their small bodies. Ah, so cute. Even her heartbeat is cute, what’s going on?!
While swaying like that and occasionally sniffing her scalp, the armrest of the chair hit the book, and it fell off the table with a thud.
While holding Ati’s back with my hand, I reached out to pick up the book.
I managed to pick up the book, but I noticed that a piece of paper had fallen out of it.
I put the book back on the table and picked up the fallen paper.
I looked at the paper without thinking—and my hand tensed up.
My stiffness must have been transmitted to Ati.
Ati shuddered and opened her eyes.
“…?”
“It’s nothing. I’m sorry, did I wake you up? You can sleep more.”
I started rocking the armchair (rocking chair) again and patted Ati’s back. I quickly put the paper I was holding on the table and gently stroked Ati’s head.
Ati, who had been looking up at me with a slightly uneasy expression, buried her face in my chest and gradually began to breathe softly again.
…An angel!!
While being rocked in the armchair (rocking chair), I kept thinking about what I had just seen and the events that were probably related to it.