Episode 15: I Tried Living Through Some ‘I Messed Up’ Days
“…I messed up…!”
When I greeted the morning, it was a refreshing one, my heart was incredibly fulfilled, and the sense of satisfaction was insane!!!!
Why are older women so wonderful?!
I clutched my head in bed, writhing in agony as I involuntarily stared at the ceiling. I know it’s too late for regrets now. But this feeling just won’t subside, no matter what.
The beginning of all this was Maria-san last night.
“Just for tonight, Lord Serios, would you allow me to sleep with you?”
At that point, I was slightly confused. Huh? Sleep together? No, no, no! Maria-san, even if she’s like a mother figure, she’s an incredibly beautiful woman, you know? What does she mean, sleep together?! Though warning bells were ringing in my head, her gaze was so incredibly earnest that I ended up replying, “…Very well.”
No, I did warn her once. That I wouldn’t be able to hold back. But if she accepted, as a man, I couldn’t resist anymore. No, I don’t have a fiancée, nor am I dating anyone, so if Maria-san were to become my lover, that would be acceptable.
Yeah, no problem.
But, the guilt is absolutely insane!!! Making a move on a woman I was protecting, am I really okay with that? I think I’m an idiot, even if I say so myself.
I vividly remember what happened after we got into bed.
“Excuse me, Lord Serios.”
Maria-san, saying that as she got into the futon, possessed both a mother-like comforting presence and a woman’s softness, and her magnificent curves gently enveloped me.
No, wait! What am I saying! But just having her next to me like that, made my heart pound unusually hard.
“Lord Serios.”
The moment she called my name, my heart leaped. I never thought I’d be this flustered… While pretending to be calm, if I turned to the side, Maria-san’s kind face was right there.
Am I a DT?! No, I mean, I’m a DT in this world, but my mind isn’t that of a DT.
But I was already done for.
“…This is bad. This is really bad.”
At that moment, I realized. I’m super conscious of her, aren’t I!!!
And then, morning came.
When I woke up, Maria-san was already gone.
Apparently, she woke up early and prepared breakfast for me. But as for me, I’m already a mess. The events of that night won’t leave my mind.
“Good morning, Lord Serios.”
At the breakfast table, Maria-san smiled gently at me. It was her usual smile. But as for me…
“G-good… morning…”
My face is hot. I didn’t know where to look, so I could only stare at the bread in front of me.
“Lord Serios, your face is red. Is something the matter?”
“Ah, ah! This is… I’m just hot!”
I told an outrageous lie. Why hot? It’s winter! I wanted to give a wry smile at myself, but I can’t look her properly in the face anymore.
After the meal, alone in my office, I collapsed onto my desk.
“Aaaaargh…! I messed up!!!”
The memories of last night flashed back in my mind.
Sleeping in the same bed. No, that’s all it was. We just slept together! But to think that the mere fact of just sleeping together would corner me like this.
Think about it calmly, I’m still only 15 years old, you know?!
And yet, she’s an adult woman, Maria-san, you know? To sleep with someone so kind, beautiful, and comforting… No, is it permissible because I’m a noble? Rather, aren’t I the one in a precarious position in various ways?!
There’s no way Liese will resent me for this and kill me, right?
“Kuh…!”
I clutched my head again. Even though I, as a lord, must grow up respectably, what on earth am I thinking!
That afternoon, it was Maria-san who brought tea to my office.
“Lord Serios, please take a short break.”
“…Ah, yes. Thank you.”
I received the tea with trembling hands. Seeing that, Maria-san chuckled softly.
“Fufu, Lord Serios, you seem somewhat strange today.”
“Th-that’s not true!”
“…Is that so?”
Somehow, Maria-san’s smile looks meaningful. Could it be that she noticed I was flustered last night? No, that can’t be. It’s just my imagination. Please let it be my imagination.
“I am happy to be of service to you, Lord Serios. If there’s anything, please don’t hesitate to ask for it. Even at night.”
“…Ah, yes. I understand.”
What’s with that kindness! Showing a comforting, mother-like smile and a soft, feminine atmosphere at the same time is foul play, isn’t it!
While sipping my tea, I tried to think about other things so I wouldn’t be any more conscious of Maria-san, but it was useless.
(…I really did mess up…!)
Screaming internally, I clutched my head once more.
That night—
Lying in bed again, staring at the ceiling, I let out a deep sigh.
“Calm down, Serios. Get a grip. Nothing happened, okay?”
Even if I told myself that, Maria-san’s kind voice and the warmth of last night wouldn’t leave my mind.
“…What am I supposed to do from now on?”
If I go to the academy, a new life awaits. And yet, my head is completely full of Maria-san. This is bad. No matter how I think about it, this is bad in so many ways.
“…Get a hold of yourself, me!”
I shouted as I pulled the futon over my head. If anyone had seen me like that, they would surely have thought I was a pathetic lord.
The next morning—
“Good morning, Lord Serios.”
Maria-san’s smile seemed as if it could see right through my heart.
“…G-good… morning…”
It seems my days of “I messed up!!!” are going to continue for a little while longer.