Episode 4: A First Feeling
《Liese’s Side》
To me, the world was a curse.
I never knew my father, and my mother raised me all on her own. But the strain took its toll, and she fell ill. On top of that, due to the heavy taxes imposed by the lord, Aegrid, we couldn’t even afford food. We couldn’t get any Medicine either.
Then, when Mother’s condition finally worsened, I desperately sought out a Traveling Apothecary, begging him to either lend me money or sell me some Medicine.
I was desperate. I didn’t care what happened to my own body. If only I could save Mother! But even that was refused, and just as I was about to despair completely, he appeared.
“I’ll buy the Medicine.”
Saying that, a boy with a handsome face, dressed in fine clothes, paid the gold for me and saved my mother.
I was truly in despair, my vision narrowed. I was in a dangerous state of mind, willing to sell my body to anyone. Even if I got the Medicine, Mother would die if she didn’t have food.
Without even realizing that, I was trying to sell myself for gold. I hadn’t even considered who would look after Mother afterward.
♢
The scene of the dining table spread before me just didn’t feel real.
That someone would prepare such a lavish meal for us. That such delicious-looking food even existed in this world.
“All this food… Are you sure it’s alright for us to eat it?”
It was no wonder Mother asked that.
I, too, was simply dumbfounded by the drastic change in our circumstances.
Until yesterday, we had been living in a back alley, struggling even to secure our next meal.
Mother was bedridden with illness, and I was doing all I could just to support her. Even if I wanted to ask someone for help, the world was cold, and not a single person offered us a hand.
The one who took us in was Lord Serios von Aegrid.
“Of course. As long as you’re sitting here, you’re my guests. Eat.”
His voice was somewhat brusque and sounded a little cold. But, I wonder why? I didn’t feel scared. On the contrary, I felt as if there was a tiny bit of warmth hidden deep within his voice.
Timidly, I picked up the Soup placed before me. Steam rose from it, and a pleasant aroma tickled my nose.
The moment I took a sip, my eyes widened involuntarily.
“…Delicious…”
The word escaped my lips naturally. The Soup seemed to seep into my body, and I felt it was more effective than any Medicine. Mother, too, brought a spoon to her lips, tears welling in her eyes.
“I’ve never tasted anything so warm and gentle…”
Hearing those words, I looked at Lord Serios again. Just then, it seemed as if he smiled, ever so slightly.
“It would be pointless if you collapsed. Take care of yourself a little.”
When he said that, my chest felt strangely restless.
Why was that? Until now, the words directed at us had always been full of contempt or indifference. To be cared for by someone like this now was something I hadn’t even imagined.
But more than that, I couldn’t help but feel that Lord Serios’s words held a strange Kindness. His eyes looked cold, yet it seemed like he was awkwardly trying to protect us.
“Lord Serios… you truly are a peculiar person, aren’t you?”
After saying that, I regretted it a little. It might have been rude. But I truly thought so.
He must be the type of person who doesn’t usually show this kind of Kindness to anyone.
“What do you mean by that?”
To Lord Serios, who frowned looking slightly displeased, I hurriedly added.
“When I first met you, I thought you were a bit scary. But… I didn’t expect you to be this kind.”
At that, he averted his gaze and sighed as if to cover something up.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s just that I’d be troubled if you two died.”
Still the same brusque way of speaking. But hearing those words, my heart warmed just a little. He must be someone who isn’t good at expressing his Kindness honestly.
Lord Serios is such a mysterious person.
Life at the Aegrid Estate was like a completely different world from our lives up until then.
Warm rooms, fluffy beds, delicious meals delivered every day. Mother’s complexion improved visibly, and I felt my own strength returning.
At the same time, I found myself occasionally thinking about Lord Serios.
That seemingly cold, yet somehow clumsy Kindness. The gentle expressions he showed in fleeting moments. The consideration glimpsed within his stern demeanor.
Come to think of it, my heart might have started to stir little by little ever since he first helped us in that back alley.
“Liese, your face is red.”
Startled by the sudden voice, I gasped. I realized Lord Serios was standing right in front of me.
“Eh? N-No, it’s not…”
“Don’t push yourself. You must be tired from looking after your mother, right?”
At those words, my chest felt a little restless again.
What is this feeling? It’s different from gratitude. It’s also a little different from admiration. But when I look at him, I just can’t take my eyes off him.
Could this be…?
“Lord Serios, why are you helping us?”
It was a few days later that I mustered the courage to ask. He averted his gaze for a moment as if thinking, then gave a slightly cold smile.
“I told you, didn’t I? I’d just be troubled if you two died.”
Being told that, one might normally feel hurt. But I felt like I already understood his true feelings a little.
“Thank you very much.”
When I said that, he looked a little surprised and turned away.
He really is an awkward person.
But why is it that I find that awkwardness so unbearably endearing?
Before I knew it, my feelings for him were changing from mere gratitude or admiration into something much more special.
This feeling… it’s a first for me.
But is it alright for someone like me to harbor such feelings? Will these feelings ever reach him? With such anxieties, I continued to gaze at his back, holding these small emotions in my heart.
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Afterword
Hello, this is the author, Iko.
That’s all for today!
I hope you’re enjoying it (๑>◡<๑)