Chapter 7: Stairway to XXX
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“Hey there! Long time no see, Siesta-kun!”
With a casual greeting and an outfit that felt more like everyday wear than anything formal, Gilbert Rasmus’s relaxed demeanor eased Siesta’s previously tense shoulders. “It’s been a while, Gilbert-sama,” she replied, her voice steady.
“Mm, Siesta-kun—what’s with that gloomy face?”
Whether it was Siesta’s obvious distress or Gilbert’s keen insight as the youngest Cardinal at just thirty-five, he continued with a tone of concern.
“Well, I have a pretty good idea of what’s got you down. You’re just too kind-hearted, you know?”
Gilbert squinted slightly, letting out a sigh.
“Hero-kun’s behavior was just as the rumors suggested, wasn’t it?”
His words struck at the heart of the matter.
“You were quite invested in Hero-kun, after all.”
He stroked his chin, where not even a hint of stubble could be seen. Siesta felt her cheeks flush as she realized how others perceived her for the first time.
“I can guess most of it already. But I want you to speak honestly about what you saw with your own eyes as the adjudicator, and what you felt in your heart.”
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“Ahh, ha ha ha!! Hoo hoo!! I’m dying here!!”
The image showed Gilbert Rasmus, the Cardinal, clutching his belly in laughter. After hearing Siesta’s report, he was in a fit of giggles, while Siesta couldn’t help but wonder what the past week of despair had been for her.
“Wow, Siesta-kun, you really went through a lot. Hero-kun is terrible! It’s worse than I heard!!”
Despite feeling overwhelmed with sadness and confusion, Siesta bowed her head and said, “I’m honored.”
“Still, Hero-kun is truly awful. He ordered you to cook the tail of the Emperor Dragon—do you know how rare that is? It’s something most nobles would never taste in their lifetime! And then he just took a bite and threw it on the floor because it didn’t suit his palate. And to top it off, he called the chef over to force him to eat what was on the floor!”
At that moment, Siesta had managed to divert Hero-kun’s attention and finally settled the situation after much effort.
“I was heartbroken. Just think of how many Gold Coins were spent on that ingredient, and how many people could have eaten their fill with that money… And Hero-sama’s attitude was—”
It was unworthy of a hero. Siesta couldn’t voice all her thoughts and fell silent.
“Come on, just say it! It’s fine, really! It’s just you and me here. He’s definitely lacking in the qualities of a hero. Now, repeat after me!”
What on earth is happening? Siesta couldn’t ask. While Gilbert was undeniably competent, he had some quirks in his personality. Fortunately, his fundamental nature was undoubtedly good, treating everyone with the same attitude.
In the end, Siesta continued to shake her head, refusing to repeat after him.
“He is! Lacking in the! Qualities of a hero!”
“He is! Lacking in the! Qualities of a hero!”
Under Gilbert’s relentless insistence, Siesta finally shouted it out. She had no choice but to. Once again, she found herself crying inwardly about what the past week had been.
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“About what we were just discussing…”
What were we just discussing? Oh, the tail of the Emperor Dragon, right? Siesta nodded and simply replied, “Yes,” encouraging Gilbert to continue.
“Actually, he had a right to be angry about that.”
Siesta listened quietly.
“See, he treats the things he buys terribly.”
She had confirmed this herself.
“Strangely enough, sometimes he calls the chef over to praise the dishes. He even hands out bags of Gold Coins as tips. But on other days, for no reason at all, he throws a tantrum and flips over a dish made with high-quality ingredients. There are countless reports of such incidents.”
What on earth is Hero-kun? What could possibly be his intention behind such actions? No matter how much she thought about it, Siesta couldn’t grasp it.
“By the way, did you see the box in the corner of his room? It was filled with jewels and art pieces just tossed in there like junk, right? Each one was something he bought for a high price.”
From food to decorations, antiques, and even people, he treated everything around him with disdain.
“From all this, can’t we conclude something? He doesn’t actually want ‘it.’ What he enjoys is the act of buying ‘it’—the high-quality items—and he revels in the idea of being someone who understands and appreciates ‘it.'”
When he put it that way, it made sense. It was a concept that was hard for holy figures like Siesta and Gilbert to understand.
“So, since he probably doesn’t even understand the taste, it doesn’t matter, right? So I had all the high-quality dishes he eats every day replaced with fakes.”
Gilbert stuck out his tongue playfully.
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“Huh? Didn’t you hear me?”
Siesta had heard him, but she didn’t understand the meaning behind his words.
“I heard you, but I’m not quite sure what you mean…”
She asked, confused.
“What do you mean, what do I mean? It means exactly what it says. All the high-end shops in the Town of Lemone have long been instructed by us. His ingredients are not the ‘high-quality ingredients’ as claimed, but rather ‘slightly better items that a regular household could reach for if they stretch a bit.’ He wouldn’t know the difference anyway. So, it doesn’t matter what we feed him, right?”
“Doesn’t matter…?” Siesta asked hesitantly.
“Of course, it doesn’t matter! Just think about it for a moment. Hero-kun is thrilled because his pride is satisfied! The chefs are happy because they aren’t wasting high-quality ingredients! And the large sums of money paid are funneled back to us and the town, making everyone happy! What a wonderful plan! Everyone’s happy!”
Gilbert raised his hands in joy.
“Plus, I heard that when they served him what was just pork instead of Cockatrice meat, he said, ‘Chef! This is delicious! Keep up the good work!’ I mean, I can understand chicken instead of Cockatrice, but pork? ‘Chef!’ ‘This is the best!'”
Gilbert laughed so hard that he let out a cawing sound like a crow, nearly hyperventilating.
“Uh…”
Siesta, with her pure heart, wore a somewhat unconvinced expression. After a moment, Gilbert cleared his throat.
“Well, you don’t have to understand. In fact, Siesta-kun, that’s one of your good qualities. So just keep being yourself, okay?”
Siesta felt a strange itch on her back, unsure if she was being complimented or not.
“But—”
The conversation continued.
“Since we’re involved, we won’t just do something petty like swapping out the ingredients. We’ll go all out!”
Gilbert smiled, and despite looking like he was in his early twenties, a shrewdness seeped through his expression.
“Siesta-kun, remember that merchant, Hilbert, from earlier?”
She pictured the chubby, balding, friendly merchant she had seen moments ago.
“That merchant, Hilbert, is arranging for noblewomen for Hero-kun, who’s already gone completely off the rails.”
She recalled Hilbert’s friendly face.
“He’s a friend of ours.”
Siesta thought of Hilbert’s amiable expression and the glint of cunning in his eyes—could it be!?
“Exactly! You got it right, Siesta-kun!”
Gilbert clapped in praise for her.
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This is the second chapter for today.
By the way, we have a comic adaptation published on Piccoma, and there’s a limited-time event where you can read up to Chapter 7 all at once!
If you’re interested, please check it out!