Chapter 20: Saintess Mika / Mikaela
“Saintess Mika, awaken.”
The girl’s consciousness was gently lifted by a solemn yet warm voice, bringing her to the surface of awareness. As she opened her eyes, she realized she was seated on a familiar bed in a room of an inn she recognized. But why was she here? The girl pondered.
“This is within your Heart.”
She sensed a presence beside her. There sat a woman with a gentle and serene beauty. However, strangely enough, she couldn’t recognize who it was. Despite the woman being clearly there, it felt as if a foggy glass obscured her memory, and no matter how hard she tried to recall, she couldn’t grasp the identity of this person.
Was this presence always there, unnoticed, or had it suddenly appeared? Mika couldn’t tell.
Amidst the confusion, Mika repeated the woman’s words like a parrot.
“Within the Heart?”
“Yes, I have drawn your soul, separated from your body, back to this place through the connection that exists between us.”
The voice was warm and filled with kindness. Even in her previous life, she had always felt a warm presence within her heart. Now, she was certain that the person sitting beside her was the same presence.
“…”
“You wear a troubled expression.”
Though she couldn’t see the woman’s face clearly, Mika understood who she was.
“Your expression is understandable.”
There was a palpable sense of compassion in the voice.
“Chief God Klaatel… why have you brought me back?”
Mika’s memories had been shattered into countless pieces due to various factors. In some of the worst instances, two memories overlapped or were rewritten, resulting in something that was hardly human. However, she had broken free from her shackles and destroyed her yoke, regaining her freedom of thought. Thus, she could grasp the unnatural situation and think calmly.
“I should have simply disappeared.”
What was right, and what was wrong?
“I wanted to disappear.”
Thoughts of him, the Hero, and herself flooded her mind. Who had done what, and who had suffered? She understood almost everything. No, she had come to understand it all.
“I no longer wanted to live.”
The floodgates of her emotions burst open, and she could no longer hold back.
“I am a wretched and ugly woman. Even now, I am. Despite saying I want to disappear at this point, I still think about escaping reality if I could return to that day.”
The space they occupied was within her heart—a certain inn from her memories.
For her, that place—next to him—was the only place that mattered.
It was a place she could never return to, from that day, at that time.
“Tomorrow, after we conquer the dungeon, I have something I want to tell you.”
There were feelings she wanted to convey. Even while recognizing her position and situation, it was a wish she couldn’t let go of.
She recalled the moment they reunited in the Sealed Labyrinth. Beside him, who smiled wryly at their insults, there was already a new member. That place—next to him—was mine, and mine alone. It was supposed to be that way—
“But now, no matter what, I can never go back.”
She understood that those words were pitiful and self-serving. She knew that longing for the past and regretting it was miserable and, above all, ugly. Yet, she could no longer stop herself.
“You should not disappear in a place like this. You have saved countless lives and hearts until now. That achievement is known to all.”
The warm voice spoke.
“I—”
Before the girl could continue, the voice interrupted.
“Many will grieve your absence. And above all, you still have things you must do, do you not?”
No matter how many would mourn her, disappearing would yield the same result. Everything would end. That was all. And she was fine with that.
“Chief God Klaatel, I have committed an irreparable sin. No matter what, I can no longer face reality.”
Facing reality can sometimes be the cruelest thing of all.
“Then, are you saying you will leave this world without acknowledging your sins and without atoning for them?”
The beautiful woman—Chief God Klaatel—turned a stern gaze toward the girl.
“If you truly wish to recognize your sins and atone for them, you need not seek forgiveness from others.”
Those words were not mere platitudes.
“If you wish to atone for the pain you have caused him, you must not run away.”
Klaatel would not allow the girl to choose an easy path.
“Face it head-on, with all your might.”
Klaatel’s gaze was unwaveringly strict.
“Face yourself, and face him.”
That strictness was the only means to save everything.
“And without seeking forgiveness, without asking for it—”
Facing reality is the most cruel and difficult thing of all.
“—you must atone for the past.”
The girl noticed the true kindness hidden behind the stern gaze directed at her.
“That path will be a thorny one for you. There may be times when you are compelled to remember your past self and wish to fade away. There may also come a day when you will be hurt along the way and think that you should have run away back then.”
Without seeking forgiveness, without asking for it. Simply, from the heart. It was something akin to eternity.
“Can I really do such a thing?”
The girl, who had already strayed far from the path, had not an ounce of confidence left.
“I have no confidence… What if I stray from the path again…”
Klaatel chuckled softly.
“If your feelings arise from a true heart, then I, who have been within your heart until now, will always support you as your mother, sister, and friend.”
The Chief God Klaatel swayed her raven-black hair and embraced the girl.
“I…”
Tears streamed down the girl’s cheeks. What she had been holding back spilled over.
“It’s alright, Saintess Mika—no, the inheritor of the name Saintess Mika, Mikaela. Here, I am not speaking to you as the Saintess, but as you, Mikaela, a single human being.”
The Chief God Klaatel gently patted Mikaela’s back, as if soothing a child.
“You have faced many hardships until now. And in the future, even more suffering will come upon you than before. So for now, I will not regard you as Saintess Mika, but simply as Mikaela, and I will honor your efforts.”
Mikaela felt an overwhelming wave of tears flow from her as she absorbed the Chief God’s words.
“You have done well until now.”
Klaatel’s words were filled with deep emotion. And then, in a voice that Mikaela could barely hear, Klaatel whispered,
“I will continue to watch over you until the day you can forgive yourself and be forgiven by him.”